A bald eagle loose above the streets of L.A. is a worrisome thought, but the avian never made it past the dreaded Dodger Stadium parking lots. In a good way:Bald Eagle flight #Happy4th @DodgersNation pic.twitter.com/kDTzMuihsF
— taddy mason (@wyliebyles) July 5, 2016
This is some of the best news the Dodgers have gotten in 2016.2. Zack Hample vs Marlins Man (LW: NR)So there are these guys, two self-styled baseball superfans named Zack Hample and Laurence Leavy, AKA "Marlins Man." Hample made his name catching, oh, billions of home runs and foul balls at "52 MLB parks." Marlins Man can be seen wearing orange at just about any sporting event, seemingly, though not very often at actual Marlins games.@Dodgers Happily, our bald eagles are fine + safely back at the Zoo. Although he missed his mark, Chinook waited by the van for his trainer.
— Los Angeles Zoo (@LAZoo) July 5, 2016
Both men wanted to attend MLB's recent game at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, but only Hample got in. A 12,500-seat ballpark was constructed just for the event. Tickets were, for the most part, intended for military service members and Dept. of Defense personnel and their families. Marlins Man said he had ticket offers, but decided that it wouldn't be ethically right — if not impossible from a security standpoint — to go.Read More: Fixing What Isn't Broken in the MLB All-Star Game
That might be the best reply to anybody in Twitter history. Hample later apologized, saying he regretted going to the game, though it's not certain if any actual lessons were learned on his part. For a more complete rundown of Hample vs. Marlins Man, check out this painstaking account from this very website.3. Mike Trout (LW: 3-t)The big Trout news this week was that he proposed marriage to his girlfriend Jessica Cox via a skywriter. She had to hurry and answer because, as you can see in the photo below, the chemtrails or whatever don't last forever:A photo posted by Mike Trout (@miketrout) on Jul 2, 2016 at 3"Lall you mrrry we Jess"? Who could say no to that?! The only detail to be decided: How many plane emojis will Trout use in announcing the honeymoon on Twitter? Answer: All of them.4. Fernando Rodney dancing the Cotton-Eyed Joe (LW: NR)The Marlins are functioning pretty well these days, and they recently added Fernando Rodney in order to their bolster their bullpen. He was pitching lights-out for the Padres, but the real reason the Fish traded for Rodney might have been his dance moves:Delete your account. https://t.co/DHYwUuRHbL
— 82nd Airborne Div (@82ndABNDiv) July 4, 2016
Peña is 34 years old, just making the age cutoff, and was born in Cuba."It's something that I think is the right thing to do, because it's time to give something back to this great country. It's not something I just woke up and I did it. I've been giving it some thought and some research. I'm very excited, man. It's a honor for me."It's quite unselfish of him. Peña won't be able to officially enlist and get deployed because he's employed by the Cardinals, with his contract extending into 2017, but there are other ways for him to help after going through basic training.Im very proud to announce with the support of my wife & family that i will be joining the ARMY RESERVE this off season " God Bless America "
— Brayan Pena (@cuban2727) July 5, 2016
It's Walter Sobchak from "The Big Lebowski" and he's calmer than you are. And so are the fans who dressed the part at Busch Stadium on Wednesday night:That bobblehead really ties the room together! #STLCards pic.twitter.com/rnub9lEQzc
— St. Louis Cardinals (@Cardinals) July 7, 2016
Is this enough to distract Cards fans from the season unraveling? Not entirely. Just because they're bereaved, it doesn't make them saps!7. Hector Santiago's monkeyshoes (LW: NR)The Cardinals might be in trouble, but the Angels really are going nowhere. They had a 35-50 record even after beating the Rays on Wednesday night, and will struggle to keep up with the Athletics in the AL West. The thing is, the A's are supposed to finish last. Other than the continuing exploits of Mike Trout, the best the Angels can hope for is to get attention for stunts like this:Here on John Goodman night, my in Busch bleachers just took this pic pic.twitter.com/crAmBCDOBV
— Benjamin Hochman (@hochman) July 7, 2016
Here are Santiago's Rally Monkey cleats that the Angels now believe incited their 21-run explosion pic.twitter.com/0rkijG5kCF
— Pedro Moura (@pedromoura) July 3, 2016
Welp. It finally happened. I am officially ancient. The #Astros top international signing (SS Freudis Nova) was born 1/12/2000.
— Jayne Hansen (@JayneWTHB) July 4, 2016
Superhuman pitcher responds superhumanly to treatment. Makes sense here.Want to read more stories like this from VICE Sports? Subscribe to our daily newsletter.Roberts said training staff was surprised at how quickly Kershaw responded to epidural. Said he starting playing catch sooner than expected.
— Alanna Rizzo (@alannarizzo) July 6, 2016