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Sports

Cardinals Buy Bulletproof Cups After Yadier Molina Took Pitch to the Balls

The St. Louis Cardinals catcher is set to be out for a month after receiving surgery. In the meantime, his co-catchers are getting their own ballistics-tested cups.
Photo by Jeff Curry—USA TODAY Sports / Screenshot via YoutTube

It only takes one 102 mph fastball to the testicles to say, "never again." The St. Louis Cardinals seem to have learned from catcher Yadier Molina's scary "groin" injury because now they've bought up a whole boatload of bulletproof cups, per Fox 2 Now St. Louis.

On Saturday against the Chicago Cubs, Molina was behind home plate when a 102 mph fastball caromed off the bat and right into his own junk. Molina eventually required surgery for hematoma—which sounds like a completely non-ideal set of circumstances—and is predicted to be out for a month while he recovers. God bless, Molina.

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If you're brave, here's video of the incident:

Well, the Cardinals decided to get drastic, as they bought three ballistics-tested ball protectors—one for each of their catchers. The cups were manufactured by (Deez) "Armored Nutshellz," a company where the CEO Jeremiah Raber feels so confident in his product, that he had someone shoot him in the balls with a gun:

Hearing the shooter say, "Oh Jesus, thank you," after successfully hitting his mark is not the kind of thing to inspire confidence in going into a second round of teste-ing.

The cups were designed not only for athletes, but also law enforcement officials, and the military. This is certainly good news for the Cardinals remaining catchers. But for Molina, it's gotta feel like being gifted an umbrella the day after a hurricane.