football cliches and meaningless debates
Deconstructing The Arbitrary Debate Over ‘World Class’ Footballers
It seems that not a week goes by without an argument over a footballer’s ‘world class’ status. Here, we call out that frame of reference for being completely fucking pointless.
the blackburn precedent
Game Changers: Blackburn Rovers and Jack Walker’s Millions
In 1995, Blackburn Rovers were crowned Premier League champions. That success was financed by industrialist owner Jack Walker, who was in many ways the last of his kind.
the unquenchable rage of chris sutton
A Lament For Chris Sutton, an Angry Pundit Caught By The Machine
Chris Sutton, Britain's most brutal football pundit, is mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore.
make britain great again
Alan Shearer’s Banter Nightmare: Previewing This Weekend’s Match Of The Day
In our first Premier League Preview of the week, we discuss the declining standards of banter on the nation’s favourite football highlights programme.
football statues: shit or not shit?
Rating Statues of Footballers Purely On Artistic Merit
With Alan Shearer’s new statue at Newcastle being widely compared to Dale Winton, we have decided to rate football’s most famous sculptures on artistic merit alone.
we should decide by referendum
Which of These Utterly Underwhelming Candidates Will Be the Next England Boss?
After Roy Hodgson's inevitable resignation last night, England are looking for a new manager. Unfortunately there is a major dearth of candidates for the role.
UK Sports Staff
The Cult: Alan Shearer
Our latest inductee to The Cult is an England goalscoring legend who was never more alive than during that sun-drenched summer of '96. Say what you like about Big Al, he knew how to bang.
three lions on the shirt
Football’s Coming Home: Remembering Euro ‘96 Twenty Years On
With the sound of Baddiel and Skinner ringing in our ears, we almost witnessed the England team achieve greatness. Ultimately, though, the tournament ended in heartbreak.
i believe i can fly
Cultural Relatives: Alan Shearer & Space Jam
Battered and bruised from their 1995-96 title heartbreak, Newcastle United must have felt stricken. Then a superstar was introduced to the fold. Ladies and gentlemen... Alan Shearer.