• Appropriating Team USA

    Growing up, real football was for Americans and soccer was for people who spoke other languages while doing jobs with their hands. We've appropriated everything they owned, why not gentrify our own damn soccer team?

  • Eddie McGuire's Ape Escape

    A 13-year-old girl who calls a black football player an 'ape' is reported as having hurled a racial slur, whereas if you're the president of a football club and your name happens to be, say, Eddie McGuire, suggesting same is merely a 'gaffe'.