No. No. No no no no no no no.
Escaped snakes, Black Friday brawls, and yes, literal shit.
“We never did find the other end of the dildo—although I have my suspicions about where it ended up.”
Waking up in the wrong city, pissed-on luggage, kidnapping. Sometimes getting there isn't worth it.
These stories will haunt you.
"I once had sex with a crescent moon—with the bottom tip of the crescent. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea, but I did it anyway."
"I won’t get into details, but it becomes a hostage situation. I’ve had that dream for many years, and then it’s realized every night on television."
“I've been shot in the face four times with a flamethrower, and I don't have any visible scars to speak of.”
They also prove, yet again, that giant rabbits are fucking terrifying.
“Trump may represent the general scary frightening figure, like the monster under the bed.”
We talked to marine biologist Jean Pasqual Quod about a fish curry that gives people hallucinations and nightmares.