ryan o'connell

  • I Wouldn't Fuck Me: My Life as a Gay and Disabled Man

    Along with having cerebral palsy—a group of disorders that affect a person’s ability to move and maintain balance and posture—I’m gay. The combination has often felt like a death sentence for gimpy ol' me.

  • With Friends Like These, Who Needs Casual Acquaintances?

    Growing up, I thought that the definition of “friend” was pretty simple. It meant someone you shared common interests with, could sit with for prolonged moments of silence and not feel weird, and cared about in a way that wasn’t driven by ulterior...

  • Gay Men and Their Not-So-Cute Misogyny Problem

    What’s up with all the misogyny, gay dudes? Seriously. I’m not saying you have to staple a copy of 'Feminine Mystique' to your forehead while blasting Julie Ruin, but could some of you (emphasis on SOME) not have such thinly veiled contempt for women?

  • Hit Me Baby One More Time

    Six years ago today, I was hit by a car while walking across the intersection of Sunset and Yorba in San Francisco. Since then, I’ve had six surgeries, one skin graft, a three-week hospital stay, four casts, approximately 6,000 painkillers, and a...

  • Give All the Drugs to the Gay Boys

    Here's something everybody should know about gay men: We like to disappear. We like to numb the feelings. We like to be anywhere that’s not here. We like to, quite simply, get messed up. And you know what? We’re damn good at it.

  • Stuff to Live For

    Let’s just admit it: Life is fucking boring. Life is so monotonous and full of routine that it’s a wonder we all don’t just fall asleep whenever we look at ourselves in the mirror. The best we can hope for are those brief moments of clarity that snap...

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  • All the New Gay Boys

    With the current generation of gay men, there’s a constant pull between the old queer landscape and the new. What it meant to be gay ten years ago when I came out of the closet is not what it means today. It seems like we’re all just trying to play...

  • I Don't Like the Internet, I Just Work for It

    In this first edition of his new column for us, Ryan O'Connell talks about the weirdness that comes with being a person who makes the internet on a daily basis.