sad stories


Disability, Deception, and the People Who Pretend to Be Blind

Blindsimmers, or people who pretend to be blind, feel a visceral desire to obscure their own vision, sometimes leading them to take drastic measures.


Confessions of a Teenage Catfishing Addict

I'm 21 and I've never had a real friend or relationship because I wasted all of my teenage years living out a fake life online.


I Spent the Evening at Chuck E. Cheese's, the Most Magical Place on Earth

You’re young. You’re shitty. So why aren’t you at Chuck E. Cheese’s? It is, after all, where “a kid can be a kid,” and the last time I checked, your maturity level would place you thoroughly within that demographic. Did I mention it serves beer? It...


On the Death of a Dog I Should Have Loved Better

I am surprised to find myself depressed upon the death of my dog this past Sunday during our fishing trip on Lake Pontchartain. I am surprised I’m even calling Mishka “my dog,” as I was never very fond of her, and didn't want her in the first place...


Dying of a Dirty Mouth

Don’t think appearance matters? I once saw an old man get killed in prison for having bad breath. He was Puerto Rican but we called him Miagi, ‘cause he had a very Asian look and resembled Pat Morita. Unfortunately, his mouth was completely decayed and...



Normally, I like to coin my own crackerisms and slang when it comes to describing indescribable prison behaviors, but I can’t improve on “thirstbucket.” In case you don’t know, that’s ghetto terminology for inmates who have crackhead tendencies...