Guarding an Island Prison with Killer Crocodiles Is a Shitty Idea
We asked experts to explore the logistics of Indonesian Commander General Budi Waseso's plan to create an island prison for drug offenders that is guarded by up to 1,000 crocodiles, not to mention a few tigers and piranhas thrown into the mix.
NYC's Greek Fascists the Golden Dawn Are Terrible Dinner Dates
The New York City cell of Greece's right wing organization are a bunch of assholes.
TBone Had His Butt Checks Sewn Together and Now Has No Butt Crack
We talked with the man with no buttcrack, who had his cheeks sewn together due to servere pilonidal cysts.
Alabama’s Strip Clubs of Death
Most of the time, shootings in strip clubs are rare occurrences, the result of a drunk who’s thrown out of the club and comes back with a gun for revenge. But in Alabama the strip club murder rate is completely out of control. Curious to see the sites...
Please Stop Believing
I like to think of myself as an equal-opportunity offender, that all religions are just different sides of the same million-or-so-headed coin to me. The specifics of what ancient person has what magic power according to whatever secret text is simply a...
The ATL Twins Would Like to Introduce You to the Li’l Twins
The world has always been a really scary place, but it just got a little more terrifying now that we've been introduced to the Li’l Twins—the best buds of our favorite double-penetrating duo, the ATL Twins—in Matt Swinsky's twisted-ass video series...
Rocco Castoro and Wilbert L. Cooper
A Catholic Hospital Is Arguing That a Fetus Is Not a Person
Legally, the argument is sound. Colorado, the state, does not define a fetus as a person. But what kind of blatant hypocrisy would motivate a Catholic hospital to argue in court that only individuals born alive are people?
The Imposters Issue
All Welcome the Bomb-Sniffing Mice Infestation
An Israeli biologist named Eran Lumbroso wants to make mice the cutest little soldiers in the global war on terror, and if his efforts are successful they could result in mass layoffs of bomb-sniffing dogs.
The Imposters Issue
Your Dog Is Full of Dirty Diseases
Recent research has shown that sharing an ice cream cone with your dog or letting your cat nap on your face isn’t just unhygienic, it could kill you, shit-for-brains, so cut it out.
this week in Florida
Titty Twisters and Striptease Turkeys
Sorry I went Earl Sweatshirt on you for a few months. But I'm back. You haven't missed much—just babies getting their nipples twisted off, strip clubs giving away turkeys, a ton of cocaine, and ladies riding manatees.
Take Jesus's Wife, Please
The tale of finding the ancient papyrus at Smithsonian is window-dressing to the actual narrative embedded throughout: the sexism of Christianity.
The Weird Science Issue
There exist gentlemen scientists, who seek to further the field of psychoactive-drug synthesis in the privacy of their own homes. Here I present an interview with a clandestine chemist whose curiosity of forbidden molecules left him locked in a cage.