We Asked a Psychic Which Celebrities Will Die in 2017

The never ending revolving-door that is mortality stops for no human.

This is a lesson we only learned in the last year apparently. There were many reasons that 2016 was a shit year but the most cited one was, hands down, losing so many beloved entertainers.

We lost David Bowie, Prince, Glenn Frey (unlike everyone else, I haven't forgotten about you bud), Carrie Fisher, Leonard Cohen, George Michael, Harper Lee, Merle Haggard, Chyna, Muhammad Ali, Anton Yelchin—look, I can't list them all which kind of illustrates my point.

Perhaps the reason that some of these hurt so bad was we weren't expecting them, their deaths just came out of the blue. Due to the fact that some of our most beloved people are getting up there in the world (the boomers fucked a lot of things up but they produced some tremendous entertainers) the deaths are just going to keep coming.

So, in order to protect you, dear readers, I reached out to a psychic to ask who we should expect to lose in 2017.

Psychic Deborah Louise Levin agreed to talk to me but informed me there were some ground rules. The first was that I had to ask about the person, she couldn't just come out and tell me who was going to the great beyond and, because of rules that she must follow as a psychic, she couldn't outright say if they were going to die but just tell me what she felt and I could interpret the results myself.

So, with that in mind and armed with a list I put together in a very scientific manner (read, very randomly), I started asking her who we would lose:

"I feel that he'll be with us for a long time. I think he has an extended longevity. I think he has a freakish longevity and we'll be talking about him even ten or twenty years from now."

Verdict: Alive as fuck.

"I feel that she will have to devote a lot of energy to her own self-care. This election has taken a toll on her for sure but will she be leaving us this year? She's not going to be the healthiest but she will be with us."

Verdict: Alive but rattled.

"I feel that honestly that she's with us for a good portion of this next year but there will be a serious concern with her next fall. Christmas may be a sad time."

Verdict: Hanging out with that great corgi in the sky. (Sorry UK)

"This is an interesting one. It seems to me that he's going to get a hell of a lot of incentive this year to manage his health. He feels like he needs a whole wellness entourage to prop him up… there might be concern with a little sickness or he'll lose someone and just go crazy. It's interesting… very interesting, who am I to judge?"

Verdict: Alive but a hypochondriac?

"He's got the financial means to stick around. I feel that he has the means to continue his longevity and I feel we will be speaking about him long term."

Verdict: Live and let Live

"Here is somebody that is the kind of person that can come back from the dead. I think this year something might give him another health caution but he'll just giggle and continue to live life to the fullest. I think he'll dodge a bullet this year but still be with us."

Verdict: Alive (was there ever any doubt?)

"I really feel a chest infection or a cold, I feel that this year will be really rough this year. I think so much so that he will have to watch it. When you're 75-years-old frequent bouts of pneumonia aren't good. I'm not convinced that he has extended longevity. He's in rough shape."

Verdict: Blowing in the wind.

(Kirk Douglas, Bill Clinton, Hugh Hefner, Billy Graham, Dick Van Dyke, Bob Barker, Doris Day, Jimmy Carter, Charlie Sheen, Larry King)

"The one that that caught my attention was the evangelist, Billy Graham. He's who I'm curious about. Hugh Hefner is going to live forever. Of that list it's [Graham] that jumps out, the rest not really."

Verdict: All money on Graham.

"From what I'm feeling he is not strong. I would say this individual is predisposed to not being able to fight an illness should it really start to turn into something serious. He does not have the strength that the other people you have asked about have, he feels very weary to me, very beaten down. He does not have that fight anymore so if something happens he might just let it take him."

Verdict: The Juice will not be on the loose in 2018

"That's a strange one. Wow. Has he joined a cult? There is so much strangeness here. I don't think a lot of people will understand the direction he will take. It's not musically, it's a lifestyle, he also has longevity but could just choose to disappear."

Verdict: Alive but living in a Costa Rican paradise where he leads his most loyal followers with an iron fist.

"He's fine. He has nothing wrong with him. He'll have a hangnail maybe. "

Verdict: Alive and leading the 6ix into the future.

"You're going to be around for awhile. Are you planning to contribute to a screenplay or a web series something like that? I feel little scripts or something for you, they're short. It's something funny and being filmed. You'll really enjoy that. I don't think it will pay well but it will be fun."

Verdict: Alive (Yo SNL, give me a call.)

Interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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