Contrary to what Monica from Friends said, the entire surface of your skin is actually a source for eliciting sexual arousal. Scientifically speaking however, the genitals, breasts and anus are hotspots, and as internet memes and rim job categories on your favourite porno website show, eating ass is emerging as quite a popular category amongst millennials. “There’s a reason why they say a man’s G-Spot is in their anus [the prostrate] and not in their penis,” says Raiyan Ali, 22, who works as a quality trainer with a MNC in Mumbai. “Remember it’s gay only if you enjoy it with another man. You can rim or get rimmed by your female partner too. Straight people may be shy to bring up their butt in the bedroom and may expect their partner instead to begin the conversation.”
But tossing the salad is not ideal after an impromptu evening of heated enthusiastic consensual bonding, and may require prior planning. “If you’re gay there’s just no way you’re not beginning sex without performing anilingus first anyway. Your ass does not have any lube of its own, but remember it can never be too lubed either. A shower is a nice place start to start,” claims Dhruv Ambegaokar, 26, who teaches at a medical college in Mumbai. “The important part still is consent. Be sure to ask your partner what they’re comfortable with.”
Randy Scarhol, 23, a freelance model and drag queen based in Bengaluru, elaborates, “Douching is a non-negotiable when you’re going to get your ass eaten, which is you using the hand-held bidet spray to clear your colon for a couple of minutes. You generally stay on a clean spice-free diet for the day if you aim to get intimate by the evening to avoid any accidents and you’re good to go.” But is it more arousing than fellatio? Like all sexuality, it depends on who you ask. “Personally, I find getting my ass eaten much more arousing than getting a blowjob, so the taboo is just made up by those that haven’t tried it,” clarified Scarhol.
Any anal sex play involves a different protocol for safety and protection against STDs. “From a medical standpoint, rimming should not be your first preferred sexual activity to oral sex, because of the higher chances of infections from residual fecal matter and damage to blood vessels. That being said, everyone’s body is their own temple to worship however they want, and dental dams provide an increased level of protection for any oral play,” says Dr Anuneet Sabharwal, founder director and practicing sexologist at Infinity Clinic in New Delhi. “STDs such as herpes, HPV, syphilis, gonorrhea and others are prevalent at a much higher rate than HIV, so sex education must include focus on safe anal and oral sex as well. Partners must be honest about their sexual history and get themselves checked regularly and follow a ritual of clearing their bowels, showering and using a disinfectant mouthwash before and after annilingus.”
The Supreme Court of India recently issued a historic verdict decriminalising queer sex between consenting adults, quoting members from the LGBTQ community and their family. Yet, sex in India is a complicated taboo subject, one that needs to be explored and talked about more. “Keep the communication channel open, always asking if this is okay and how it feels. Ass play can be an amusing or an intensely arousing experience or both, regardless of your gender or sex, if you don’t rush,” says Akshita Dhingra*, 24, who works at an advertising agency in Delhi. “You’ll be surprised at how many straight men are aroused by getting their ass eaten. It’s definitely got some power play involved too—you’re in a very vulnerable position if you’re the down (receiving it), and for men to realise that’s okay, can be exciting.”
“People and society as a collective are evolving, and they’ll be more open to exploring their sexuality moving forward. You never know what you’re missing till you try it yourself,” laughs Raiyan.
*Name changed on request