Scientists Confirm If You Don’t Use It You Lose It

We know that we only have about 10 years to go before the effects of climate change become irreversible—unless we all band together to overthrow everyone in power who’s doing nothing about this crisis, of course. So, the thought of having kids is kind of unthinkable for some of us. I’m sure at least a few of us would welcome losing our reproductive capabilities, if only to safeguard us against bringing new life into this increasingly unliveable world.

Well, there’s a solution, of sorts: According to a new study CNN covered on Wednesday about the possible factors linked to early menopause, researchers have identified a particular change in behavior that could lead to menopause—i.e., the time ovaries stop ovulating. Without ovulation, there’s no pregnancy. Without pregnancy, there are no kids to bring into an inhospitable world. Health class 101, etc. etc.

Win, win in these progressively awful times, right? But there’s a catch: The specific “change in behavior”is “having less sex.” The researchers, who analyzed data collected from nearly 3,000 women over a period of 10 years, found that women who said they were having sex (oral, vaginal, anal, masturbatory—any kind) were 28% less likely to have experienced menopause than those who had sex less than once a month.

Have sex, but remain capable of bringing kids into a world that might prove uninhabitable? Lose the ability to bring those kids into this hellscape in the making, but never come? This is the worst Monkey’s Paw and/or Gift of the Magi I’ve waded into in a minute.

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