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10 Questions

10 Questions You Always Wanted to Ask a Professional Gay Orgy Organiser

“People get creative and get their own lube replacements—from Vaseline to ghee, everything goes.”

by Navin Noronha
14 June 2019, 7:17am

Illustration: Prianka Jain

I’ve had my fair share of coming across guys with bizarre professions on dating sites—rental boyfriend, hippotherapist (not what you think; look it up), corpse photographer. Raman*, however, really grabbed my interest. I found his profile while casually scrolling on Romeo, one of the oldest and most famous gay dating apps used in India. He described himself as a regular white-collar employee based in Mumbai with a decent banking job, but also... an organiser of orgies for gay men? I honestly found it a bit shady and didn’t even want to ping him but he initiated the conversation. He noticed my apprehension in responding and wrote, “Don’t worry. That’s just something I am passionate about. It’s also easy money. I eventually wish to be in a romantic relationship. Also, I never partake in the orgies I organise.”

All across Mumbai (and every other major city in India for that matter), orgies and sex parties take place in full splendour. There’s orgies for rich people, for the middle-class, for straight people and for gay people. And some people—like Raman—are taking a lot of effort to make them happen.

VICE: Hey Raman. So, how did you get into the business of orgies?
Raman: For starters, it’s not just a business for me. I feel I am more of a facilitator. I was in England in 2014 for an offsite project, when I first saw an online ad for an orgy. This one was for straight people, but I went nonetheless. It was extremely professionally done. They even had a coat checker. So I got curious about doing it myself. Back in Mumbai, I accompanied many gay friends to different sex parties, but they were just focused on sex. I wanted to make my orgies a wholesome experience, and so started throwing them in 2016.

How can one set the mood for an orgy?
At our parties, we put a lot of effort in the ambience. I string up lights and have aromatic candles in corners. I have a bunch of playlists curated for these nights. It’s mostly instrumental music like Kenny G. People are allowed to play their own music though, provided they give it to me in writing first. I listen to it first so I know whether it’s worth playing for everyone. Prep work also includes stocking a stack of condoms and lubricant, mostly K-Y Jelly. People get creative and get their own lube replacements too—from Vaseline to ghee, everything goes.

I let the people coming in acquaint themselves. We have a common drinking session where we introduce ourselves. But one good thing about having only gay men is that breaking the ice is not that big a deal. They know they are there for sex and they get to it almost immediately. From then on, I stand by and make sure everyone is comfortable. I am fully dressed at all times.

Where are these orgies organised?
They happen in the suburbs of Mumbai. Areas like Madh Island are accessible enough yet properly isolated for this. I prefer hotel rooms because no one comes knocking—especially in Madh where hotel owners know people are coming for a good time. I have also organised a couple of orgies in resorts, where we booked the whole place out, pool and everything.

When we started off, we saw hardly five to six men. But with time and through word-of-mouth, we have started attracting 15 to 20 men each party. Several more apply, but I like to cap it off at 20. I have to be careful so as to not raise a commotion. We allow men of all shapes, sizes, age and colour. We aren’t selective, but if you find a certain body type you like, you can approach them and see if they want to reciprocate. Mostly with gay men, sex is easier and hence everyone is on board with the agenda of the evening. People come in singles, groups, as well as in couples.

Where can I sign up for an orgy?
Most entries come from dating sites for us. I have an account on Romeo, Scruff and Grindr. From these three platforms, I get a bunch of messages and then I have to go through each person (their profile) one at a time. Some of them have already been with us before so it’s easier now. But for new people, we have to be really cautious.

How much do people attending these orgies pay to be part of them?
Depending on the location, the entry is anywhere between Rs 700 to Rs 999 (USD10-14). People are asked to get their own snacks and refreshments. It’s a headache enough organising a place and other paraphernalia. I also have to pay certain people off to make sure that the operation goes properly. That’s how we have avoided having cops at our door. I myself take home a minimum of Rs 8,000 (USD115) per month. It’s not much but I’ve never done this for the money. If I wanted to, I would just get a DJ and call it a gay sex party (writer’s note: these usually include poppers and theme-based sexual adventures, and are mostly inebriated). But we all know how out of control they can be.

Do you set any ground rules before the orgies begin?
I insist on compulsory STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) screenings for the people joining us. We ask them to get a medical proof of their blood test when they come in. As soon as they come in, I allocate them a room with others to get ready. The main orgy happens in a bigger room. I am serious about what I do and safe sex is paramount. So far, we have had some slip-ups where the condom tears or someone experiences fatigue in the middle of it. If that happens, I step in and make sure everything is okay. Things can get very steamy during orgies, so sometimes, you might have to give breathing space to those looking for a pause—which I ensure happens. Also, consent is paramount.

What is the weirdest stuff that has happened at your orgies?
I mostly monitor the events to a T. I don’t need any drama; we just celebrate the beauty of sharing the joy of sex with others. But this one time, a guy got his new boyfriend to the orgy, knowing that his ex would be there as well. That created a lot of tension, and the ex tried to hit the new guy, and I had to ask all three of them to get dressed and leave.

How many condoms do you run through in a night?
On an average, 30 to 40. Sometimes, we have more tops than bottoms (people on the giving and receiving end respectively), so we hit lower numbers. But what is a task in itself is disposing the big bunch of condoms. That can raise suspicion. But sometimes, people are kind enough to clean up after themselves.

Are drugs and alcohol part of the party?
I strongly prohibit drugs. No poppers, no marijuana, no cocaine. No high fun. Alcohol, however, is permissible. But you buy and drink your own booze. A lot of these drug-inducecd sex parties have gone terribly awry and the first rule for my orgies is safety.

Does it worry you that your friends and family might come to know of your events?
God, yes. That would be the end of all of this. I’m super scared at any given time that my family or friends will discover the second phone I use specifically for my orgy-related calls, texts and emails. But I have been fine so far and should be in the near future too. The thrill of watching an orgy unfold in front of you is something else, and that’s what keeps me going. I just like to watch and keep the memories with myself.

*Name and identity withheld on request

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