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The Olympics Now Have Recyclable Cardboard Beds, but Can the Athletes Have Sex in Them?

But no threesomes allowed.

by Shamani Joshi
16 January 2020, 1:40pm

Photo: Screenshot from a post made by a Twitter user.

The Olympic Village—a temporary city built for the participating athletes aka some of the fittest people on earth—is kind of like that energetic afterparty that could potentially turn into an orgy, especially since it’s a space sprawling with fit bods, a come-at-me attitude and post-victory pent-up energy that presumably needs some tender release. In fact, the Villages are legit known for their openness towards sexual endeavours, with more than 450,000 rubbers being handed out during the Rio Olympics in 2016 (an average of 42 for each athlete), whereas the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang saw the usage of dating app Tinder soaring almost 350 percent and 110,000 condoms handed out to participants. While Tokyo officials still haven’t decided just how many condoms they will give out this year, they say they are leaning more towards the "London range" of 1,50,000, and on offer in the country will also be hi-tech options with traditional artwork on them.

However, this year, the Olympics isn’t just about going for the gold, but also about going green. After they announced that medals would be made using recycled phones, the Olympics committee recently unveiled their recyclable cardboard beds that will later be converted into paper products. But there was one burning question on everyone’s mind: Does this environmentally-conscious good deed mean athletes can’t do the deed in their rooms? Would the athletes’ resolve to finally break their self-imposed sex bans end up breaking the bed?

Australian basketball player Andrew Bogut even tweeted that the recyclable beds are a “great gesture . . . until the athletes finish their said events and the 1000’s of condoms handed out all over the village are put to use.” However, after much confusion about how strong and sturdy these beds really are for some sexy time, Olympic officials have finally clarified that they CAN be used for more than simply sleeping.

Airweave, the manufacturing masterminds behind these eco-friendly beds, assured athletes that they can hit their home runs even off the pitch using these beds, with the company spokesperson saying, "We've conducted experiments, like dropping weights on top of the beds. As long as they stick to just two people in the bed, they should be strong enough to support the load.” They maintain that the beds can stand up to 200 kgs, more than enough for a plus one.

Well, that sets things straight, except for one tiny problem: threesomes, foursomes and pretty much all kinds of sexual experimentation involving multiple bodies. Guess the group huddles are only going to stick to the sports field for now.

Follow Shamani Joshi on Instagram.

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