Five years ago, photographer Vee Hoy sustained a “pretty gnarly” injury to her hips. She was treated for the pain with what she calls “copious amounts” of morphine and other pharmaceutical drugs. Coupled with childhood trauma that she was yet to fully process, the “smorgasbord of pills” plunged her into an intense painkiller addiction.She realised she needed to change only after her addiction almost killed her. “I was living in a hotel with my kid with no money, and it was awful awful awful bad. I came very close to dying of a drug overdose in a doorstep, which was that point when I realised I had an issue and that I needed to get help.”
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Now nearly two years sober, Vee says she has learned so much from her recovery process that when it came time to confront it artistically, the project came together under the title ‘Grateful Addiction’. “Had it not been for addiction,” she says, “I wouldn’t be in the place I am now.”VICE caught up with Vee to talk addiction, recovery, and what she has learned on the journey between them.
VICE: Hey Vee. Congratulations on your sobriety.
Vee Hoy: Thank you. It’s been an amazing journey, to be honest with you. I haven’t regretted it for a second. It’s hard work, but the rewards you get from walking that line of sobriety are amazing.
Vee Hoy: Thank you. It’s been an amazing journey, to be honest with you. I haven’t regretted it for a second. It’s hard work, but the rewards you get from walking that line of sobriety are amazing.
What was the inspiration for these photos?
I really wanted to do a series around addiction for a long time, especially seeing I’ve been down that path myself. But I didn’t want to give people these grisly, horrible photos that you see everywhere when it comes to talking about addiction. You know, these horrid photos of junkies sitting on street corners and just grossness. And I think there’s a lot to be learned from addicts as a whole so that’s really what I wanted to portray with these photos, the positive sides that people miss when they judge addicts so harshly.
I really wanted to do a series around addiction for a long time, especially seeing I’ve been down that path myself. But I didn’t want to give people these grisly, horrible photos that you see everywhere when it comes to talking about addiction. You know, these horrid photos of junkies sitting on street corners and just grossness. And I think there’s a lot to be learned from addicts as a whole so that’s really what I wanted to portray with these photos, the positive sides that people miss when they judge addicts so harshly.
Did you meet your photographic subjects through your recovery journey?
They’ve all been people I’ve had a connection with through Narcotics Anonymous or it’s been people I’ve met throughout my journey. I talk quite openly about my struggles with drug addiction and how I got through them and the things I learned from that. So I do talk a lot with the community and there are quite a few of them in there that I’ve met that way as well.
They’ve all been people I’ve had a connection with through Narcotics Anonymous or it’s been people I’ve met throughout my journey. I talk quite openly about my struggles with drug addiction and how I got through them and the things I learned from that. So I do talk a lot with the community and there are quite a few of them in there that I’ve met that way as well.
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You’ve called the series ‘Grateful Addiction’. Why?
Had it not been for addiction, I wouldn’t be in the place I am now. So I’m very grateful that I was that very messed-up person and that I had the opportunity to reach rock bottom because without it I wouldn’t have worked my arse off to get where I am now. A lot of addicts feel like that. Like, they would not have become the people they are today had it not been for addiction.
Had it not been for addiction, I wouldn’t be in the place I am now. So I’m very grateful that I was that very messed-up person and that I had the opportunity to reach rock bottom because without it I wouldn’t have worked my arse off to get where I am now. A lot of addicts feel like that. Like, they would not have become the people they are today had it not been for addiction.
There’s a duality to these photos. Why?
Because that’s how you feel when you go through addiction and pop out the other end, like you’ve had this totally different person running your life for however long you were in active addiction and when you find sobriety and come out of that, the person you become is so incredibly polar opposite. That was something that I wanted to show. One of the tools we are taught going through addiction is understanding that you had no control over that person that went through addiction. For a lot of us, we leave not only that life behind, but that person.I’m so thankful for recovery. The life I get to lead now is pretty amazing. I get to work as an artist every day, which boggles my mind still that people pay for it and want to support it. My journey is pretty amazing. I still have those moments when it’s hard, like everyone, but I’m pretty lucky that I've got the tools that I can use to process things.
Because that’s how you feel when you go through addiction and pop out the other end, like you’ve had this totally different person running your life for however long you were in active addiction and when you find sobriety and come out of that, the person you become is so incredibly polar opposite. That was something that I wanted to show. One of the tools we are taught going through addiction is understanding that you had no control over that person that went through addiction. For a lot of us, we leave not only that life behind, but that person.I’m so thankful for recovery. The life I get to lead now is pretty amazing. I get to work as an artist every day, which boggles my mind still that people pay for it and want to support it. My journey is pretty amazing. I still have those moments when it’s hard, like everyone, but I’m pretty lucky that I've got the tools that I can use to process things.
Is there enough support out there?
It’s shit. It’s real shit. I’m not going to beat around the bush about it. There is this huge giant stigma that if you’ve gone through drug addiction there’s obviously something very wrong with you. People, they treat you differently, they look at you differently, so that’s what the series, and my whole life I guess, has really been about: talking about some of those harsh stereotypes that we put on people and really trying hard to get people to shift that, and approach things a bit more kinder and gentler, because it can be the difference for some people, literally, between life and death.
It’s shit. It’s real shit. I’m not going to beat around the bush about it. There is this huge giant stigma that if you’ve gone through drug addiction there’s obviously something very wrong with you. People, they treat you differently, they look at you differently, so that’s what the series, and my whole life I guess, has really been about: talking about some of those harsh stereotypes that we put on people and really trying hard to get people to shift that, and approach things a bit more kinder and gentler, because it can be the difference for some people, literally, between life and death.
