The House from 'The Castle' Will Be Demolished

The Australian property bubble has claimed another victim, and it's your childhood. On Tuesday night, a Melbourne council voted against a heritage protection application for 3 Dagonet Street Strathmore—aka the house featured in the 1997 Australian film classic, The Castle. This means the house will be demolished.

This gives the whole story a nice symmetry. You may recall that in the cult classic, the Kerrigan family home was set to be demolished by the government in order to make room for an airport. In real life, the house will be demolished so that the owner can subdivide the land and put in some apartments. Either way, it all comes down to location, location location.

The Moonee Valley Council was divided on the heritage application, which was narrowly rejected by five votes to four opposed. Mayor Andrea Suraco told the ABC that, all things considered, 3 Dagonet Street was just another house.

"It's an old dilapidated weatherboard home," she said. "At the end of the day it's really the film that has significance, historical or heritage value."

But of course, it's not just another house, and the symbolism here is potent. In an age where even cheaply constructed suburban homes are put on the market for a million dollars, anyone lucky enough to own one is going to make the most of it and cash in. No matter how iconic their property is.

The median house price in Strathmore is $1.1 million, which means that the Kerrigans—if they were a real family as opposed to a fictional exaggeration of 80s Australian tropes—would be able to afford some pretty nice stuff to put in the pool room by now. They wouldn't be loveable lower-middle class bogans—they'd be rich.

You can't really blame Cosentino for wanting to demolish a shitty weatherboard in order to comfortably fund her retirement. This isn't 1997. Australia isn't fun anymore. The vibe of the thing is pretty fucking bleak, actually. You can no longer get by on serenity alone. People are just doing what they have to do.

There is hope though. If you're truly devastated about this loss, and want to fight the system Kerrigan-style, owner Vick Cosentino is reportedly happy for someone to buy the house and turn it into a tourist attraction. Surely someone can convince their rich property mogul parents to use the powers of negative gearing for good?

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