Tesla-Branded Tequila Might Soon Exist Thanks To You Nerds

If you know someone who's genuinely excited about 'Teslaquila,' now's the time to stop being friends with them.

by Hannah Keyser
14 October 2018, 6:26pm

Composite Image; original Mark Brake/Getty Images

One upside to rich and powerful corporate titans regularly showing their asses on the internet is that the ensuing brand loyalty tells you more about a given consumer than ever before. Wait, actually—this might in fact be bad and exhausting, but either way, it's definitely a newfound reality of social judgement.

For example: I can tell you already that I do not want to get stuck in a protracted conversation at a house party with someone who is excited about Tesla-branded tequila. And while that was true even as a hypothetical, soon there may be actual tequila that could be on a person's shelf and would make me (and probably you) think twice about bringing up manned expeditions to Mars.

"Teslaquilla" [sic] was first floated as an April Fools' joke on Elon Musk's Twitter as part of what appears to be a feeble stab at self deprecation.

But now, perhaps so enamored with the punny name or else just facing a lot more free time than he's had in years, Musk tweeted that "Teslaquila" is "coming soon" in response to news that Tesla has officially filed for a patent on the name.

And then he tweeted this, which is I guess how rich innovators say "picture."

Branded booze is not the worst way to expand the purview of a company that built a name for itself on the promise of self-driving cars (no designated driver required!). But it sure does seem to say "midlife crisis"—both for Musk himself and whomever ends up buying these bad boys off eBay in a couple years.

This article originally appeared on VICE US.

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