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Break-Ups

Question of the Day: The Worst -and Best - Places to Break Up?

Best? “Dunedin.” Worst? “Dunedin.”
break up

When you want to call it quits, the first big question is: how??? It’s a sticky situation to break up a relationship and many do the decent thing to arrange a civil meet-up, keep it brief and part ways. The rest of you savages send a text and hide in a cave until 2020.

But if you opt to swallow the rat and do the deed in person, your second big question is: where? An anonymous carpark to minimise bad associations? A public cafe to try and strongarm them out of making a scene? The privacy of your home, where you can make them leave then grieve in peace? Is there ever a good place to cut ties?

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We played on Auckland’s heart strings to get the best and worst breakup locations.

TINA, 37
cafe owner

VICE: Hi Tina. Can you tell us the worst place you’ve ever been broken up with?
At home. I’ve only broken up maybe once, this was an eight year relationship with my ex. We had a really big argument at the place we were living in together. I think because you are living in the same place for a long time, so even though it’s a rented place, still you call that home. If you had an argument, or something not that happy happens in a place, you will feel extra sad.

The best place?
No. there’s no best place. I don’t think so. It depends on how it ends I think. It’s if there was a conflict obviously that will hurt you and that feeling will stay in for a long time. Yeah it’s been five years now but sometimes when I think about it, it’s in my memory, it’s going to stay there forever.

Do you feel how it ended has determined the terms of how your relationship continued?
Unfortunately we’re not staying friends. It’s like a bad taste in your mouth. Location does something but when it’s happened, it’s happened. I don’t think you can choose the location. It just had to happen that day. We just happened to be at home that day.

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Better than a public place I guess!
I think so. If it went ugly, then it’s going to be a drama like in a movie or TV series. Home is not a good place but I don’t think there’s a good place for it. Maybe a park?

Then you can leave…
Yes. Nowhere near water then or you can get pushed in. Or I’ll kick him in.

ATEREANO, 22
Customer service officer

Okay, I'm going to cut right to it: worst place to break up?
The worst place would be in front of everybody, in front of a crowd. For me it was at work. It was a summer fling a couple years back and I was on lunch break and we still had to work together after the whole break up. It was just bad. It was a bad month. That’s probably the worst. At work all of your work mates are around and can see what’s happening.

Best?
That’s always a hard one. Probably the bedroom. Because it was really intimate and no one was around.

Why?
Once they leave; they leave. They’re gone. It’s not a public place, it’s a lot more private a lot more gut wrenching.

SHOLTO, 23
Retail Worker

Hi Sholto, where is the worst place to break up?
Online. Ghosting. That’s like placeless which is worse because it’s just like disappearing, it’s cowardly.

Where would you recommend instead?
In front of someone. Anywhere, as long as you’re there with the person I think that’s the best place to break up with someone.

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And what's your personal favourite?
Somewhere neutral. Not their place not your place but a cafe or something, somewhere not too public but somewhere where you don’t feel awkward like oh I should leave now but somewhere you can leave in your own time.

CORDELIA, 27
Researcher and part-time student

Hi Cordelia, tell us about the worst place you've been dumped?
Do you know what? The guys that I’ve gone out with are probably so gutless because I’ve never actually been broken up with in person. This is probably the first time I’ve realised that. Always text or a phone call.

Cold. So no big public display of emotion?
There’s been one or two where it’s been at a club there’s been an argument or something like that but the actual breakup has been through phone call or text.

Where’s the ideal place for you then?
Is there an ideal place to be broken up with? I don’t know. I guess the beach or something a bit peaceful.

If you were to do the breaking up, how would you do it?
Well I wouldn’t do it through phone call or text. On mutual grounds. Probably a restaurant. Somewhere public! No big scene.

CONNOR, 22
Tattoo artist

What's the worst place to dump someone, or be dumped?
Overseas. So I was overseas and she was over here. She ghosted me and I found out through a mate of mine that it was off. Weird.

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That’s rough! Where’s been the best place?
My house, because then she just left.

What’s the ideal situation for you?
Where you both just sit down and you’re like, this isn’t really going anywhere and you agree and then you’re like, “Oh, but you’re still kinda fun to hang around with,” So you stay friends.

JOSHUA, 32
Unemployed

Where is the worst place to break up?
Dunedin because it’s so cold. When I was 21 it was awful. It was a horrible experience. We came back to Auckland and we broke up because we couldn’t find anywhere to live together.

Best?
The best place would be Dunedin.

If you were to break up with someone then it would be in Dunedin?
Yes.

CAMILLE, 23 and BARBARA 28
Travellers

Worst?
Camille: There is no place for a break up. Before I began this travelling I broke up with my boyfriend in my apartment. It was the worst place to do it.

Where would be a good place, if there is such thing?
Camille: A place with memories maybe that we shared together in the relationship.
Barbara: Or in the park or a public place. Because we can both leave our separate ways.