Why do these insects hate explainers?
Image by author
In Trump's America, the press is under attack. You know what I'm talking about—in your head, do a montage of Donald Trump saying "fake news," congressional candidates body-slamming reporters, and so on. But on Tuesday, that war intensified, when a swarm of bees lingered outside Vox Media's New York City offices.
What Are Bees?
"Bees are flying insects closely related to wasps and ants, known for their role in pollination and, in the case of the best-known bee species, the European honey bee, for producing honey and beeswax," says Wikipedia.
The guy on the Cheerio box? The main character of that Jerry Seinfeld movie that became a meme? You guessed it—both are bees.
What Are They Doing Outside Vox?
The bees have been buzzing in the entrance of Vox's office building since before 8 AM this morning. Retired NYPD cop and "bee guru" Anthony "Tony Bees" Planakis told Gothamist that the swarm settled into the entrance of 85 Broad Street because they were looking for a new home.
"Had beekeepers not arrived to take the swarm away, the bees likely would have taken off a second time in search of a place to set up a new hive. Doing so in the concrete canyons by Wall Street is a tough proposition, given that bees tend to seek out wooden hollows as sites for their houses," Gothamist reported.
What Is Vox?
Vox is a media company infamous for its explainer articles. Its greatest hits include: "Star Wars, explained," "SoulCycle, explained," "Same-sex marriage in the US, explained," "The internet, explained," and "Anthony Weiner and the rise of dick pics, explained."
Why Are the Bees Outside Vox?
They were probably looking for a new home, like all of us.
Do Bees Have Sex?
Should I Be Worried?
Do you work at Vox? If not, these bees are probably far away from you! So it's OK. Even if you are a Vox employee, it's fine. As Tony Bees says, "People have nothing to worry about."
But bee stings hurt! Even if you are into bee sting therapy, which is a real thing Gwyneth Paltrow has endorsed, you probably want to get stung by some kind of special bees, not these random bees hanging out in Manhattan.
Don't go near the bees.
Why Did You Write This Article?
I was born with a gift—to explain things. I even have my own column called "EVESPLAINING." You're welcome for the explanation.
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