You might have been drinking whale skin this weekend, but you were probably too drunk to care.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE DEAD OR MISSING AFTER A TYPHOON IN THE PHILIPPINES
And nearly 400,000 people have lost their homes
Nearly 900 people have been declared missing – 300 out at sea – and over 600 people have died after a typhoon hit the southern Philippines.
Nearly 400,000 people from the area have lost their homes and are all crowded into evacuation centres or staying with relatives.
Hundreds of rescuers, aid workers and refugees gathered together to watch the Manny Pacquiao fight (Pacquiao is from the region), but were crushed when he was knocked out in the sixth round, which is the emotional equivalent of a final kick to the balls after being beaten up by eight large men.
VIETNAMESE AUTHORITIES STOPPED AN ANTI-CHINA PROTEST
They told them it was alright, then changed their minds and arrested 20 people
Vietnamese police broke up two separate anti-China protests and detained 20 people in the first demonstrations since tensions flared up again between the neighbouring countries over the oil-rich South China Sea.
Police allowed around 200 protesters to march, then changed their minds half an hour in and ordered everyone to disperse.
Any sign of popular public anger is a threat to the Vietnamese Communist party and, over loudspeakers, authorities told protesters "Your gathering causes disorder and affects the party's and government's foreign policy."
No one's very happy about police shutting down the party, obviously, with many activists taking to the internet to voice their discontent.
SOMEONE THREW A COIN AT RIO FERDINAND
It hit him in the face and made him bleed
While Rio Ferdinand was celebrating team mate Robin Van Persie's goal against rivals Manchester City, someone threw a 2p coin from the crowd, hitting Ferdinand above the eye and making him bleed.
Whoever threw the coin presumably practices lobbing small objects at distant targets as hard as they can on a daily basis.
While Ferdinand was recovering, a Man City fan jumped on to the pitch and started storming towards him, but goalkeeper Joe Hart stopped the man before he could reach Rio.
After the match, Ferdinand tweeted "Whoever threw that coin, what a shot! Can't believe it was a copper 2p... could have at least been a £1 coin!"
A BAR IN HACKNEY WAS RAIDED FOR INFUSING A COCKTAIL WITH WHALE SKIN
Which seems like a really weird thing to infuse a cocktail with
Bar Nightjar on City Road was raided by police after it emerged that they'd been serving whiskey infused with strips of whale skin.
The raid is bad news for people who like their alcohol to taste like fish, because – under EU law – the hunting and trading of whales is illegal, making the "Moby Dick" cocktail illegal, too.
The bar said it was unaware that selling dead whale parts was illegal until the police notified them.
A MAN GOT STUCK IN A WALL WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM PRISON
Everyone had a good laugh about it, except for the failed escapee, presumably
After another inmate escaped through a hole smashed in a Brazilian prison wall, this unnamed man tried to do the same, but his belly was too big and he got lodged in the hole.
Prisoners on the other side of the wall reportedly tried pushing the man through the hole, but failed, leaving him to scream in pain and alert guards to his situation.
From the looks of things, the guards stood around, pointed torches in the man's face and laughed at him until firemen eventually arrived and cut him free.