You're a person reading a music site, so you probably know Harry Styles released his first solo song today. He "teased" it last Friday 31 March – also the 30th anniversary of Prince's Sign o' the Times, *upside-down smiling emoji* – and since then, there have been various whispers about the song's sound (the common denominator has tended to be "Queen"). To round off the buildup, some powerful images surfaced of Harry hanging out of a helicopter, and of his stunt double wearing a mask of his face during a music video shoot, to whet our collective appetite. Never ones to keep our gobs shut, now that "Sign of the Times" is out after debuting on Grimmy's Radio 1 breakfast show, we've got things to say. So please, without further ado, enjoy this Harry Styles-themed roundtable featuring Noisey's own Daisy Jones, Tshepo Mokoena, Lauren O'Neill, Ryan Bassil and Emma Garland.Lauren: I would like to summarise my own by saying that I, personally, would pay Harry Styles to slap me in my face.Ryan: Why are you making me do this?Emma: I feel the same way about Harry Styles as I felt about this extremely cool goth girl at school when I was 15: do I want to shag him or do I want to be him? Probably a bit of both. Putting aside, for a second, his triumphant hair and ability to wear multiple ostentatious rings and voice that sounds like the commanding yet nonchalant ghost of anyone who has ever broken a window in the Hyatt Hotel, Harry Styles is just pretty good, isn't he? He definitely stands the best chance out of all the Directioners to evolve into an artist able to hold some genuine relevance for potentially the next few decades. I'm putting a lot of pressure on him to plug the gaps left by Iconic British Males who have sadly expired, but that's only because I think he could if he wanted to *insert Tyra Banks rooting for you gif but in present tense*.Daisy: I second Emma's sentiment: half of me wants to sleep with him, but the other half wants to know what it's like to actually be him. What does it feel like to wake up every morning smelling like Tom Ford Patchouli Absolu and fresh sweat, probably, LA sun streaming on your face through the skylight as you select what floral shirt to unbutton that day (Gucci or Laurent?) and what healthy protein-based snack to consume from your double-doored, duck egg Smeg fridge before you have to ring Elton John for some "advice"? Do you know what I mean?Tshepo: The last boyband I cared about was probably N*Sync so I have very few feelings about Harry Styles. I think his voice is good – though he reminds me of the people at music school who'd put on a husky texture because that was the "in" sound – but there's not much else there. I am 28 years old, though.Ryan: Look, I love Justin Timberlake. I would consider shaving my head in an attempt to bring "SexyBack". That's how inspiring the man is. Harry Styles hasn't even bothered going to the barbers for this comeback – this is already more words than he deserves. What sort of pop star is he?!Read more on Noisey.
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