choose your own adventure

Move in with Your Significant Other

couple
Photo: Emily Bowler

This is going well, isn't it? Tinder Bang turned Recurring Booty Call turned Let's Get Pizza turned Meet Their Friends turned Meet Their Family turned Bought An £80 Blanket Together And Discussed Getting A Dog But Did Not, Ultimately, Get A Dog.

It's been 18 months but mouth stuff is still a regular menu item. You save episodes of Queer Eye to watch together, and the two of you have never once argued about what to do on a Sunday (well… there was that once, where they walked dramatically away from you by a canal. But it's hard to tell when it's a real argument and when they're just hungry and need a fucking cereal bar, isn't it?).

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And now it's time to ruin it. Here, let's move in with your significant other:

IT'S… IT'S GOING WELL!

"DID YOU LEAVE THIS SPOON OUT?"

AFTER A PERIOD OF EXTENDED SILENCE, YOUR LANDLORD HAS PHONED THREE TIMES AND EMAILED ONCE. WHAT DOES HE WANT?

ACTUALLY, NO, BACK TO THE START PLEASE