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Screw You, Ethnic Print Trousers

Your one-size-fits-all mysticism does nothing for my curves.

by VICE Staff
22 March 2013, 2:30pm

A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that's made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.


Well it's not actually a birthday, but they (by which I actually mean "he", but "he's" secret) just made their 100th t-shirt. If you don't know what T-Shirt Party is then you should, because they make small runs of amazing, funny, cool t shirts every few weeks or months – often with accompanying videos. Which sounds weird but actually works. The latest crop have featured a shitload of collaborations with designers and generally great people. You can see all the T's here – and maybe buy their sexy 100th anniversary rose speckled dream shirt.


Ok I don't want to come over all emotional or anything, but I was sorting out my shoe rack the other day and I came across one of the very first pairs of Converse I ever bought. Can we just take a minute to appreciate the beauty of something which I had when I was 13, still being totally appropriate for me to wear 10 years later? If I did that with half of my other outfit choices I'd probably be fired (I'd definitely be fired). But there were my Converse (size 4, hi-top, black, in case you were wondering) just waiting to be slipped on and possibly sick on a little bit. It happens. So, I don't know. Thanks, I guess? You're probably one of my most reliable friends. Way more reliable than my ex-boyfriend was, but I guess that's not saying much. And now is not the time to get into that. Again. Anyway, thanks.


If, like me, you've been wearing camo religiously for about seven months now, and the fact it's suddenly all over everyone has basically just ruined all your outfits plans for the next week (so annoying) then take solace in the fact that Penfield feel your pain. They know that not every wants to look like off-duty Rihanna. Although in hindsight there are definitely worse things. Anyway, in order to combat all the camoflage (geddit?) Penfield decided to make their own unique floral camouflage print. It will both come in handy when you're tring to blend in to fauna, and equally when you're trying to stand out among the swathes of camo kids you're probably going to be encountering for the entire summer. Take your pic from shirt, shorts and a bucket hat (which is amazing FYI) among many others. If I were you I'd probably just throw everything on and own it. A bit of warlord swagger never hurt anyone. Did it?


I bet you always thought that paint splattered hairdresser jeans were the most heinous trousers possible? Well, your Western ignorance has let you down I’m afraid because the worst leg-coverers known to man are found by searching “ethnic” and “trousers” in Ebay. Within seconds you’ll be confronted with the worst display of cod-Eastern, pan-Mythical clothing outside of Mick Hucknall’s Lock N Store unit. Everything about the trousers, from their shoddy manufacturing to their one-size-fits-all take on mysticism is enough to make all but the most fevernt WOMAD-goer want to run for the hills with their BP job application form in hand. We’d sooner hope that distressed denim comes back in than these patchwork atrocities.

Previously – Love Valium? Marry It