Heavy Mental: The Crazy World Of Dave Mustaine

He's worked it out! Obama did the Batman massacre!

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20 August 2012, 11:00pm

Considering that they don't live in the real world, it's hardly surprising that famous people have long been suckers for conspiracy politics. Sometimes it's predictable, like country rock nutter Ted Nugent becoming a Tea Party supporter, and sometimes it isn't, like the seemingly reasonable Dave Chapelle's genuine belief in an lluminati super plot.

Usually, it's down to someone being on either too many drugs, or too few drugs. But sometimes, just sometimes, it's more thanks to a delusional paranoia so potent and total that it must be considered their greatest output. And metal's Rebekah Brooks, Megadeth frontman, Dave Mustaine, definitely falls into this category. The man's been mental just as long as he's been making music.

Anyway, our boy's been in the news recently claiming that President Obama was behind the recent spate of tragic mass shootings in America. From Aurora to the shooting at the Sikh Temple, apparently Barack is staging them all, so he can force through a gun-ban and step all over Dave's Second Amendment rights.

Check out the video below to see a man defy human anatomy and literally talk out of his rectum:

I mean, the poor bastard has quite obviously lost his mind, but it's nothing new. Here, in case you missed it, is a backlog proving that Dave will believe, or say just about anything, provided it's vaguely right-wing or profoundly stupid.

FUNDAMENTALIST HOMOPHOBIA

Back in Dave eschwed the metal tradition of Lucifer lovin' and became a born again Christian. Which is an unusual step for a man who once released an album called Killing Is My Business... And Business Is Good! Of course, this guy wasn't on some liberal Rev. Rowan Williams steez though, Dave went for the son-sacrificing, fire and brimstone, God imagined as Tony Montana take on Christianity.

Once when asked about the Thatcher government's anti-gay stance he responded, "More power to them. It says in the Bible that men should not lay with men, like they lay with women. I mean, I don't wanna fuck up and not go to heaven". For Mustaine, heaven is one rocking straight bar.

BELFAST OUTBURST

Americans don't really understand "The Troubles" do they? It's a complicated situation for everybody involved, and even smart Americans don't really get it (there's a Simpsons skit which seems to believe that the fighting is between the North and the South). Anyway, back in 1988, when the bullets were still flying hard and fast through Irish people, Dave landed in Belfast and decided to dedicate a song (which being Megadeth, was probably about killing people) to "the cause"; a term strongly associated with the IRA. Needless to say, it all went a bit sour and Megadeth had to leave the city with a police guard, under a slew of threats.

MUSTAINE HATES MEXICANS

Though you'd be wrong if you thought that Mustaine was some kind of campaigner for the oppressed peoples of the world. In the same year as the Irish awkfest (one busy year for his dealer, you've got to assume) Dave announced that the US should "build a great wall along the Mexican border and not let anybody in". Agressive? Yes. Inflamatory? Yes. Short-sighted policy for anyone who enjoys blowing tumpets of gak up their bottoms as much as this chump? Hell, yes.

HE'S MATES WITH ALEX JONES

Mustaine is a great supporter of Alex Jones, BFF of Charlie Sheen and arguably the most influental person in the bat-shit fringe media today. In fact, Alex Jones' conspiracy rants, have been cited as a big influence on the album Endgame. Now, I'm far too busy and tasteful to listen to a poorly recieved Megadeth album from 2009, but I can tell you that if I were to record an album influenced by the work of Alex Jones, it would just be a series of recordings of the noise my jaw makes when it hits the floor after hearing his bullshit.

BIRTHER BOLLOCKS

Being a lunatic, there was little doubt that Dave would give airtime to the most pathetic of all political causes in the world today, the Birther movement. Considering Mustaine clearly wasn't even born on this planet, it seems a bit rich to demand Obama's birth certificate when he won't even let the secret service do the traditional anal probe expected of all interplanetary immigrants.

COFFEE C.E.O.

Finally, he recently launched his own line of coffee products, including something called "Dave Mustaine's Peruvian Black", which sounds more like something he used to mainline through his eyes than a warm drink for estate agents to start their morning with. Mustaine's entry into the caffeine biz, cements a long term conspiracy theory of my own: That all people who run coffee companies are evil meglomaniac bastards.

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