When I first saw the rumours last night, that David Cameron may have rested his member in the mouth of a dismembered pig during his time as a student at Oxford University the first thing I thought was: imagine how angry Morrissey is right now?
Morrissey: hater of the Conservatives, personal detester of David Cameron, die hard lover of all animals, big and small. Imagine his reaction the moment someone got his attention: “Telegram for Morrissey! Telegram for Morrissey!” - I can’t imagine he opens emails or uses Twitter - “Breaking news, the British Prime Minister may have sexed a dead pig, for a laugh.” Has a rumoured news story ever been more acutely tailored for Morrissey’s wrath? But the man doesn't use Twitter or Facebook, and he hasn't uploaded an essay to his website in months. If only there was a tribute band to The Smiths who specialised in anti-Conservatives political satire to take advantage of this unique news story. If there was such a band, then I'd go so far as to say their whole existence as a concept boils down to taking advantage of this exact moment in the time space continuum. If they don't, they've fucked it.
Well, don’t worry guys. Meet The Iain Duncan Smiths, who write political satire songs about exciting things like bedroom tax, sick pay and MPs, while wearing Iain Duncan Smith masks and performing in the style of The Smiths. This, “Pig Mouth Strikes Again”, which obviously echoes “Bigmouth Strikes Again”, is their latest offering, uploaded at 1pm today. That means they must have written, rehearsed and recorded this overnight, which is a credible dedication to making a joke about something. They saw their moment, and they acted. Certainly makes your “Netflix and swill” tweet look half-arsed.
Iain “Psycho” Duncan Smith, frontman of the band, told me: “The inspiration was a quite unavoidable pun. It was written and recorded in a hurry this morning, and not entirely sardonically - lots of people have done crazy things while coked off their tits, so Cameron deserves some understanding on this one.”
And when I asked how he thinks The Smiths themselves would feel about their music and output, he said, “A couple of people have tweeted our stuff at Johnny Marr but as of yet there's been no response. I'm not sure they'd be too thrilled about their songs being butchered in such a way - meat is murder, after all.”
Seems like a punny guy, huh?
You can follow Joe on Twitter.