Musicians With Sports Stars

If Instagram was an exact location I'd place it somewhere between Purgatory and Hell, thus christening it "Hellgatory" - or the city of Los Angeles (whatever tickles your fancy). It's the type of place where you can make other people's lives shittier by showing them just how awesome your soulless, self indulgent life is.

And, who better to make us mortals feel even more insignificant than the musicians and sports stars who we worship? They both do a job that they (claim to) love, they're getting stacks of paper (get money!) and they're living the dream. Somehow, via the world of Instagram, these two entertainment careers have collided into a #humblebrag #photo #frenzy. So, just to make your Monday even more miserable than it has to be, here's a compilation of musicians and sports personalities rubbing shoulders with each other and pretending to be mates.

Lethal Bizzle and Kurt Angle

I find it quite depressing that I know who Kurt Angle is. But, I find it even more depressing that despite being a 26 year old guy who lives with his parents, I still get a hard on watching pay-per-view wrestling. Regardless of my self-loathing, the connection between rappers and wrestlers is uncanny. You've got the alter-egos, the questionable wardrobe attire, the drugs, the numerous arrests and the occasional murder charge. And, let's not forget the beefs. A fight at a hip-hop award show is the same as a fight in the wrestling ring: there's a shit-load of unnecessary drama, chairs and other foreign objects are thrown into the fray and usually, women and children are not exempt from the brawl. It's like an over the top day at the Zippo Circus. Lethal Bizzle and Kurt Angle are essentially one and the same. Lethal has had his fair share of disputes - holla N Dubz, shout out Wiley! - while Kurt is trained in the art of "beef for entertainment purchases".

Olly Murs with Amir Khan

This may be wishful thinking, but I'd like to think that after this picture was taken Amir punched Olly Murs right in his Chubby-Checker jaw. It's the least he should have coming to him after atrocities such as this, whatever the fuck this is meant to be and especially this. But most likely the Welterweight boxer from Bolton just lied through his teeth and said that he's got his new album playing while he's training for his next fight. Can you imagine training for an intense 12 rounds of boxing and with Olly 'fucking' Murs playing in the background? It’s the equivalent of turning up to the ring dressed in rolled up jeans with pom-poms for gloves.

Noel Gallagher with David Haye

I would love to see these two individuals beat the living daylights out of each other. Both are mouthy shit-heads and known for causing controversy. Noel Gallagher is famously outspoken about anything that doesn't wear a leather jacket and bathe in coccaine, while The Haymaker enjoys starting brawls at post-fight press events and saying outlandish shit like "This fight is going to be as one-sided as gang-rape". Basically, they're both very charming young gentlemen known for their pleasantries and elegance.

Snoop Lion and Rio Ferdinand

Remember when they wouldn't let Rio go to Euro 2004 because he didn't attend a random drugs test? That right there is the only connection I can make between him and the man formerly know as Snoop Dogg. I'm not saying that Rio - who is one of the greatest defenders (and biggest shitbags) that this country has ever produced - likes to puff ganja. But, I wouldn't put it past him. With the amount of flack he's been getting for not acepting his England call-up, I can imagine he likes to spark a fatty to relax in the evenings. Interestingly, Snoop used to coach a pee-wee league (American) football team, which is odd because I swear that requires you to have purified lungs and be built like a brick shit house. I assume that he is neither of those things.

Bashy and Theo Wallcott

It's time to admit some home truths. I was raised in East London (proper working-class East London if you must know) and as far as I can remember I've always bled North London Red (that means I'm an Arsenal supporter for all you non-footballing fans). These two fail to deliver so often that I doubt there's even a back-story to this photo other than that it's one of those run-of-the-mill "I'm famous, you're famous… hey! lets take a picture!" moments.

Bonus Picture!!!

Giggs and Danny Dyer

Yes, I know that Danny Dyer is in no way, shape or form, a sportsman. I'm pretty sure that he barely even registers as an actor. But, he's the original badman. A cultural warrior. So what? Sue me. I found this picture of him and Giggs on Instagram and thought that you should all see it. Double D (that's what I'm calling him from now) likes to think that he's a hard man, but I'm pretty sure that a wheelchair bound paraplegic could kick fifty-shades of shit out of him. Giggs, on the other hand, has been the 'hardest' UK MC for a while now. Unlike his UK contemporaries he's not going to jump on EDM inspired tracks to get West Country girl's pants wet or swim in a pool of the Queen's faces. I'm just wondering how the fuck these two got together in the first place.