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The Hangover News

The French and the British have been fighting this weekend, but you were too hungover to notice.

EU
THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN FRANCE TOLD THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN BRITAIN TO "SHUT UP"

(via)
The leaders of Europe will all hang out this week to discuss how to stop the continent running out of money, but already the leaders of France and Britain are squabbling.

Leaders of all 27 countries from the European Union had a summit yesterday, to talk about how to stop the euro collapsing.

But French President Nicolas Sarkozy grew tired of Cameron's interference, and told him to "shut up" and stop being a bossy boots.

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"You have lost a good opportunity to shut up," he's quoted as saying be EU officials who attended the summit. "We are sick of you criticising us and telling us what to do.

"You say you hate the euro and now you want to interfere in our meetings."

The disagreement came as the leaders tried to figured out whether all 27 leaders should attend a second euro-saving summit on Wednesday, or if just the 17 leaders whose countries use the faltering currency should be there.

A compromise was reached, and everyone will talk about it for an hour before the "Eurozone 17" power through alone to hammer out an arrangement that will hopefully pull us all back from the brink of itinerant, post-societal, pan-continental cannibalism.

If not, we can always sail over in boats and eat the French.

Some other stuff happened this weekend. Wanna find out what it was? Go to page two.

North African
THIS MAN CLAIMS TO HAVE SLAIN GADDAFI

(via)
The name Senad el Sadık el Ureybi will doubtless live on forever in the history books after a man whose name that is claimed to have delivered the shot to the head that killed Muammar Gaddafi.

No one knows if the video confession's authentic or not, but the macho voiceover on the Russia Today clip has me convinced.

Turkey
HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DEAD AND LOST IN 7.2 MAGNITUDE QUAKE

(via)
An earthquake measuring 7.2 on the Richter scale has killed at least 200 people in south-eastern Turkey and left rescue teams scrabbling to find hundreds more who are currently unaccounted for.

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The towns hit most badly in the quake, which struck on Sunday, were Van (100 dead) and Ercis (117 dead).

There have been more than 100 aftershocks since the main quake in the rural Anatolian steppe region.

"Because the buildings are made of adobe [mudbrick] they are more vulnerable to quakes," said prime minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

"I must say that almost all buildings in such villages are destroyed."

South America
SOUNDS LIKE THINGS ARE GOING PRETTY GREAT IN ARGENTINA

(via)
Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner won Argentina's presidential election by a landslide this weekend.

In doing so, she became the first woman in Latin American history to retain her position at the top of the political ladder.

There was a huge party attended by thousands of people in Buenos Aires, where flags were waved and Kirchner was cheered as she spoke to her supporters on TV screens.

Kirchner is popular in Argentina because the economy is booming and she spreads the wealth out to the poor, old and needy members of Argentine society.

However, her rival and former president Eduardo Duhalde has warned Kirchner that the country is merely "dancing on the Titanic", as her centre-left policies frustrate and punish debt-laden foreign investors at the same time as they delight the proles.

MAC HACKETT