Discovered by a guy called Dr. Gerald Russell of the Institute of Psychiatry at the University of London. This is when your girlfriend has little cuts and abrasions on the back of her hands from forcing her fist down the back of her throat to make herself vomit. When I held the hand of one secret bulimic I lived with and saw a patchwork of abrasions I told her, “That’s Russell’s Sign.” She knew she was busted. Her cheeks turned scarlet, she took her hand away, and told me she’d done it when she was cooking. Sure she did. She never cooked anything in her life apart from ramen noodles — not a dish that involves a great deal of knives. Neither is ice cream, which was the only other thing she ever ate. In retrospect I realized that whenever she ate ice cream the toilet would always smell kind of sickly about half an hour later. Eating Out
When you go out to dinner she will probably ask every single person around the table what they’re having as if she’s generally interested in the taste of the food she’s about to order. What she’s actually doing is buying time from the awful moment when she actually has to tell the waiter what she wants to eat (which will usually be salad or fish). When the dish arrives she’ll mash it up into little pieces like mothers do for babies and then take a little bit and make a big deal about telling the rest of the table how delicious it tastes. If it’s your partner who has the problem, the next thing she’ll do is say, “Honey, you’ve got to try this” and then spoon a huge portion of her meal onto your plate. No matter how much you don’t want to eat it, just try and force it down. This makes them feel better. PMS and extremely painful menstruation
Expect SEVERE, psychotic mood changes and crippling stomach pains. This is because their bodies aren’t receiving the correct nutrients because they’re not eating shit. They have a thing in the UK called Feminax, which is codeine. Make sure you always have a box of that handy. Clinging onto childhood teddy bears
A lot of girls with anorexia have problems developing into the big, bad world of adulthood and will often keep teddies, doggies, and bunny rabbits in their bedroom as a reminder of the good times before the blooming of adolescent anorexia. Drugs
They love cocaine and smoking weed together. The cocaine is an appetite suppressant and the weed makes them want to eat ice cream, which they puke up about half an hour later. Cigarettes and white wine are also things they like because they have zero calories. Denial
The hardest thing about secret anorexics is talking to them about it. They will lie and lie and lie. Try and get them to go to a therapist or something or your relationship will die. (PS: They might die too.) DANDY CRABAPPLE