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choose your own adventure

Move Into Your Own Place

by Joel Golby
14 August 2019, 12:17pm

Guessing one of three things have happened: your granddad just died and left you between seventy and one-hundred-thousand pounds; you've just got an overly generous pay bump from work and decided to plough it into the sheer luxury of living alone instead of ameliorating the feeling of sudden tax bracket shift by just buying better coke, more pizzas, Soho House membership and Ubers to work, and then somehow still bottoming out your overdraft every month; you've just slammed into 28, had a mid-to-medium freak-out because that was the age your parents had you, decided you can't put up with living with five other people, none of whom know what energy supplier you have, and moved into a one-bed on your own, which is just slightly more than you can comfortably afford each month, but that'll just make you work harder, won't it!

That's a reason to get that new job you've been wanting for a while! Think of this as motivation! God, is it really £1,400 a mon—

Anyway, sadly you're now destined to go mad. What particular breed of madness, that is on you. Here are your choices:

GO WHOLESOME-MAD

GO MAD-MAD