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Here's Britney Spears Moonlighting as a Dominatrix, Putting Howie from the Backstreet Boys on a Leash

Really just so confusing.

by Lauren O'Neill
03 April 2017, 4:36pm

For a long time, I have held the suspicion that Britney Spears' Las Vegas concert is the greatest show on earth. Today, that suspicion has been confirmed as cold, hard fact:

Let me break this video down, because to be real it warrants it:

As we can see, it is a video of Britney Spears performing the song "Freakshow" at her Las Vegas concert "Britney Spears: Piece of Me." She is wearing an outfit that looks like it is the result of a last minute "sexy dominatrix costume halloween" eBay search (here for it). 

The video opens with a guy in a button-down being led along the stage on a leash, because Britney is a real life dominatrix now. He looks about 5/10 into it, but he gets credit for the flair with which he is moving his arms in time to the music, until later when he realises that he has actually missed his mark and scrambles along to meet it. Right now, anyone would assume that the man is an audience member, simply enjoying his evening in Vegas. 

It transpires that the man is indeed an audience member, but that he is also Howie Dorough from the Backstreet Boys. If this video were not posted via the Backstreet Boys' official Instagram you would literally not know until Britney announces it, so ordinarily has Howie aged. It has truly shaken me that anyone who was once a popstar would wear this shirt, which so loudly screams "chill dude called John's idea of dressing up for an engagement party". 

And if being dragged along Britney Spears' stage in the year 2017 was not enough to put Howie's life up until that point in perspective, there's always the part where he gamely but weakly booty-dances, and also the end, when Britney deigns to gift him an Official Britney Merchandise™ t-shirt, and then precedes to sign it in front of the entire audience, as if he were a fan and not someone who was once her literal peer, to give him pause for thought. Utter, masterful savagery. 

"Britney Spears: Piece of Me", therefore, has it all: humour, suspense, weird sadness, and inexplicably, dominatrixes. You'll laugh, you'll cry. And maybe if you're lucky, you'll see Britney literally and figuratively drag a Backstreet Boy down her runway. 

Lauren is accepting tickets for "Britney Spears: Piece of Me" on Twitter.

(Image via Backstreet Boys on Instagram)

Tagged:
Music
LAS VEGAS
Noisey
Britney Spears
Backstreet Boys
howie dorough