I don’t mean to brag, but when it comes to slang I can crack abbreviations and decipher code names quicker than it takes you to log on to Urban Dictionary and realise that you’re old and pathetic. Ditto for having seen Jawbreaker enough times to know what constitutes some seriously fucked up shit. Please trust me when I say, from my position of smug know-it-all PGB queen, the world isn’t ready for Claire Khaw.
An example of some things that have earned Khaw a bad name: the time she announced in a round-about way on a BBC radio show in 2011 that she would rather murder a brain-damaged child than “force” UK tax-payers to support its parents; the assertion that religion is only useful for subjugating the lower social groups of women and children; oh, and a campaign to rid Britain of “SSMs”. Are you gutted that you can’t work out that abbreviation? Don’t be, here's Khaw to explain:
“SSM – Slut Single Mum i.e. mothers of illegitimate offspring.
She is clearly culpable for intentionally getting pregnant, recklessly getting pregnant, or negligently getting pregnant.”
At first I thought CK was joking, because her blog sideline cites her as an “internet comedienne”, but the use of the term “comedienne” (ew) combined with the bat-shit crazy lists she writes on her personal blog made me reconsider. Unfortunately, though this really would be the filet de bouef of trolling, Khaw is genuinely an “anti-feminist” who wants nothing more than to “restore the patriarchy by means of establishing a one-party theocracy based on the Koranic principles that will replace the immorality of feminism”. Hey, there’s gotta be one, right?!
All of Khaw’s opinions apparently have their roots in libertarianism. Her snappily named Facebook page “Are Slut Single Mothers a Burden on the State?” is driven entirely by the selfless desire to protect the British public from having their tax money wasted on struggling women. The page, which has over 2000 likes – :/ – is a platform for her to share her totally political views, views like “LIBERALS ARE EVIL BECAUSE THEY ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO BE STUPID SLUTS.” (That’s a direct quote, FYI.)
What a baddie, right? She makes Ann Coulter look like a member of The Dirty Girls. This bitch is like Thora Birch in The Hole, but without the drop-dead haircut. Anyway, obviously I checked out her website, and shit, it turns out she’s using high school tactics to decipher modern feminism. Much like at the beginning of Clueless, Khaw has a post which distributes different types of men to different “lunch tables” as decided by their behaviour towards women. The whole thing functions under the title of "Manginas: Betrayers of Men", but don’t worry about clicking that link because I’m going to break it down for you right here, nice ‘n easy.
Oh, by the way, it’s incredibly difficult to work out what parts of her website Khaw has written herself and what are re-posts, please bear that in mind just in case she tries to kill me for misrepresenting her. One thing she definitely does say, in response to Richard Reeves calling for more men to help out with housework, is: “Is this what you want for yourselves by 2043, guys? Any person with a male sex organ who says yes to this question should immediately castrate himself, cook his sex organ and serve it to his female partner for tea pronto."
Like I said: baddie. The rest of the post details what exactly a mangina is (in case you were wondering, which I was):
She then dissects each subsect of mangina. There are “The Unelightened”, who have an “anti man agenda”, then there are “The Horny”, who “may not inherently hate men, but they love pussy so much that they are willing to justify anything in the name of pussy”. Next is “The Worshipper”, to whom “pussy == superior human being” and who would “kill people on their girlfriend's whim”. And finally we have “The Nutless” – watch out for these guys, apparently “in this person's mind, all logic, reason, cause, effect, and circumstance is overridden by a hatred for men and the prime directive that women are always right, and always to be obeyed no matter what”.
Isn’t it funny how all of these different "manginas" (can I stop using that word now? Thanks) sound pretty much the same? Basically anyone respecting women is breaching that all-powerful natural hierarchy which man sits dominant at the top of, it’s nothing new. What is interesting about this dissection of men and Khaw’s extremist opinions in general, is precisely that. How ridiculous and extreme they sound. Perhaps the bloated corpse of her opinions is floating to the surface now because there’s no legitimate way of channelling her flavour of extremism any more. If this were America, chances are she'd have a name for herself as an outspoken right-wing martyr. Over here? She's practically toxic waste.
Maybe Khaw represents the final, extremist frontier in British gender politics, forced into an absurd venomous solitude because really there’s no space for her anywhere other than on a relatively quiet blog in a dark corner of the internet. See? I’m not just bashing a crazy right-winger; this is totally relevant to positive cultural ramifications regarding the gender balance.
Essentially, what it means is the good guys are winning. It's not often you get to say that, so thanks Claire, I think you just made my day.
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Catch up on last week's Pretty Girl Bullshit: Why Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?