The Hangover News

Politicians Flying the Coop
THE LEADER OF THE SYRIAN OPPOSITION PARTY HAS RESIGNED
But apparently his party have refused the resignation, which must be kind of irritating

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Ahmed Moaz al-Khatib, leader of the opposition Syrian National Coalition (SNC) party, resigned, saying that he could only help to improve the situation in Syria by working outside of the coalition.

However, analysts have also suggested that al-Khatib quit his post because he believes that the SNC is too heavily influenced by Islamists and foreign powers like Qatar.

Whatever the reason, al-Khatib announced his resignation on Facebook, which makes the status update you just posted about the shitty dream you had last night seem even more trivial than it already was.

While al-Khatib's resignation may not directly affect too much, it's yet another reminder of how divided the Syrian opposition have been during their bid to oust Bashar al-Assad from power.

Angry Homophobes
FRENCH ANTI-GAY MARRIAGE PROTESTERS CLASHED WITH POLICE IN PARIS
None of them are best pleased about the "marriage for everyone" bill passed last month

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Hundreds of thousands of people converged in Paris over the weekend to protest against a draft law allowing gay couples to marry and adopt children, because why the hell should they be allowed the same rights as everyone else?

Instead of dressing up like Robert Mugabe or Michelle or any other well-respected homophobe, one group of anti-gay marriage activists dressed up as Marianne, the symbol of the French republic, and waved flags and flaming torches around.

Most of the protest was peaceful, but towards the end of the day around 100 angry youths clashed with police and had tear gas fired at them to hold them back.

Protesters hope that their demonstration will convince President François Hollande's Socialist party to scrap the bill, but the government is yet to comment on whether they'll change their minds based on marches by large groups of people who reckon that gays getting married will bring an end to humanity.

Nazi Investigations
GREECE ARE FINALLY DOING AN OFFICIAL INVESTIGATION OF THE GOLDEN DAWN PARTY
I.e. those fascist assholes who sieg heil in public and called the Holocaust a "solution" to immigration

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Footage of far-right Greek political party Golden Dawn shot by a British-based film school graduate has prompted the first official investigation into the extremist group.

Konstantinos Georgousis followed members of the party for his film The Cleaners and recorded them using openly racist language in pre-election rallies, referring to the Holocaust as a "solution" to the immigration problem and suggesting that people should be boiled down to "make soap".

Considering the party are picking up a worrying amount of support – it won 21 of the 300 parliamentary seats in the May ballot – it's probably not a bad thing Greece's criminal prosecutor has decided to have a root around and hopefully classify them as a hate group, or whatever it takes to shut them down.

Golden Dawn spokesman Ilias Kasidiaris has claimed that the film-maker "failed to officially identify himself" during the interviews and claimed that members were "joking" about the Holocaust, which seems like a weird thing to do if you want to convince people that you're a legitimate political party.

Douchebag Retribution
A PETITION HAS BEEN LAUNCHED FOR THE DAILY MAIL TO FIRE RICHARD LITTLEJOHN
He's the guy who wrote the article shaming the transgender teacher who killed herself

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Richard Littlejohn – the man who's done everything in his power to gift the Daily Mail the bigoted reputation it's known for – is the subject of an online petition that aims to have him fired from the paper.

After enraged parents at St Mary Magdalen's school in Accrington contacted the Mail about one of the school's male teachers starting a new life as a woman, Littlejohn wrote a column headlined "He's not only in the wrong body… he's in the wrong job".

The post, which has since been taken down, claimed that Nathan Upton's "selfish" gender reassignment surgery to become Lucy Meadows would have a "devastating effect" on pupils.

Lucy Meadows was found dead – a suspected suicide – at her home last week, and while there's no link between what Littlejohn wrote and Meadows' death, many have commented that having a personal life choice slated and demonised in the national press probably doesn't do much for anyone's self esteem.

This is just the latest shake of the bigoted pepper mill that is Littlejohn's career, following a ridiculous amount of homophobic language, an article that defended police who threw a disabled protester out of his wheelchair and a piece that insinuated ethnic minority staff had ot their jobs through threatening to sue the Equality and Human Rights Commission.

Pest Control
A WOMAN BURNED DOWN HER HOUSE WHILE TRYING TO SET A SNAKE ON FIRE
Snakes hold a lot of weight in the karma game

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In a story that arguably wins best headline of 2013 so far, a Texas woman accidentally burned her house down while trying to set a snake on fire.

In a recording of the woman's 911 call, she can be heard saying, "We were trying to kill a snake with fire… it done caught the house."

Sheriff's Deputy Randall Baggett explained the circumstances a little better, saying, "She saw the snake, threw gasoline on the snake and lit the snake on fire. The snake went into the brush pile and the brush pile caught the home on fire."

At least now that sage, timely piece of advice – to never try and kill a snake with fire – has a face; something that might help to quell the rising number of burned-out homes as a result of flaming snakes winding their way into brush piles.