How Would You Improve Internet Porn?

Photo by Isabelle Andarakis

Porn isn't a hard sell. In fact, it's pretty much completely self-sustaining, in that there aren't many other avenues you take when you're planning to spend some time with yourself. And if you can think of anything else, there's probably already porn of it.

It is a little harder to actually advertise it on posters and billboards, though, which is presumably why PornHub is running an online competition for a new creative director, getting the entire internet to pitch concepts for adverts at them, and hiring whoever submitted the best one. At the moment, it's a bit of a mix between some good ideas and a dumping ground for visual puns involving hot dogs and donuts.

I wanted to know how people in a half mile radius of me would handle the position of creative director at a big porn website, so I walked around and asked some of them.

VICE: How can porn be improved?
Will, 27: I don’t think there's enough loving porn. There's a lot of violent porn and porn that people aren’t having a lot of fun with. God, I don’t know—that sounds pathetic. But Jesus, there is a sadness that fills my heart when I see the sadness in everyone’s eyes.

Why do you think they look so sad?
Maybe that's purely my judgement. I guess the position they're put in? But I don't know. I’ve never shot porn. I’ve never been in that position. Maybe they feel completely empowered and happy to be where they are, but often I don’t get that impression.

So how would you combat that?
Maybe support amateurs. Get amateur couples who enjoy filming one another and like sharing that with people. But there's so much porn. It'll be difficult to make a real change, since there's a niche for everything as much as there's a market for everything. As much as I might want to see a loving couple make love beautifully, there will be someone who wants to see a girl fisted by eight guys.

That's a very valid point. Are there any niches that you would champion if you were to, say, take control of a porn website?
I've certainly never gone online and been like, Why can't I find this thing? Because it's remarkable what you can find. I’ve certainly gone online and thought, How the fuck is someone into this thing? I guess I’d like to see less weird stuff—no donkeys, no one getting upset or hurt. I'll ask myself some questions about it tonight.

How can porn for women be improved?
Lucy, 19: I think it should portray more accurate sexual relationships, and not some kind of warped view of what it should be like in the bedroom.

Can you give me an example?
I suppose violence. I think that too much violent pornography could lead to that being taken back to the bedroom and end up in people having quite unrealistic views of sex. Also, I think that it can affect you much more if you're exposed to pornography from a young age. You grow up with a different view of relationships from what they actually are.

If you were the new creative director of a big porn site, what kind of videos would you focus on?
I don’t know—I’ve never really thought about it before. I think maybe something where women aren’t in such a demeaning position. Pornography is probably often aimed much more towards men. But I don’t know—I’m not really a pro.

You're the new creative director of a huge porn site. What's your first move?
John, 27: It’s a difficult question to answer, but I would continue doing what's going on now and find ways to make it even better. I'd help the business grow using social media.

That's a sensible enough answer. What about the content?
I’m not a regular user. I don't watch porn that often.

OK. Anything you're not a big fan of?
Not particularly. There's usually a lot of advertising, but I understand that's how it's funded and stuff.

Yeah. How about introducing new stuff? Are there any niches that you feel don't get enough exposure?
Any niches? No, I think the internet covers most things.

What would you change about porn?
Jack, 24: Well, a lot of gay porn—and I'm sure other porn—is quite violent. A lot of people are into that stuff. I personally don't like it at all. It gets a bit graphic with all the fists and bums and stuff like that. I’d never watch that.

So what changes would you make as the new creative director of a porn website?
Probably less of that and less of the old people and pooing. I don’t know why that ever became a thing to sexually arouse anyone.

So you'd introduce a maximum age limit for performers?
Yeah, definitely. Old sweaty balls being thrown around the set is just so horrible to watch. Even if you just catch it at the side of the screen, it's a big turn off.

What are your personal porn watching habits?
I watch it alone. I’ve watched it maybe once or twice with somebody else. But yeah, usually very much alone.

Say you became the new creative director of a porn website, what would you do?
Anonymous: Make it safer for women. Get reputable companies who use reputable models, and you don’t get any exploitation or dodgy dealings. I don’t know whether porn companies or producers would have to get some sort of accreditation. Is the industry regulated by authorities? Can the regulation be improved?

That's a good question. What about the more consumery stuff, rather than actually making porn?
Are we talking hardcore porn of softcore porn?

Whatever you want.
I guess there's the argument: Should young people be exposed to pornography? And if you paid for porn, would it not be better if they gave the user a little sneak preview so you could actually see whether it's the type of porn you'd actually like? There's one porn site that's actually free. You can access free videos.

I think there's a lot of those kinds of sites.
Well, that obviously negates the need to pay for it. So maybe there's a lot of porn providers out there who are being screwed by the free providers.

You land a job as the new creative director of a porn site. What do you spend your first day doing?
Daniel, 25: The biggest problem with most porn is that it's very unrealistic, and a lot of young people get completely the wrong idea about what's in store for them, which is usually difficult and awkward and clumsy, initially. I like stuff that is real, that isn’t staged. The plumber who ends up having sex with every woman in the house is ridiculous. Those terribly acted storylines leave me completely cold. If there's a new director coming in, it’s difficult, because you can’t exactly say, "Get better actors," because that's not the point. And I’m an actor.

So what can you do? How would you improve porn for your consumers?
Place more emphasis on what comes before it. Those things are usually more exciting, just from my own sexual experience. Anything that comes before it is the real excitement, and anything after that is obviously fantastic. Make people invest in the romance of it all, I suppose. There's little romance in porn. There are a few things, like couples on their wedding nights, but it’s all bullshit. I'd try to make the people a little more realistic. Just a dude and a woman, rather than steroidy, veiny monsters.