Objectively Correct List

All the Easy Music Merch You Can Buy For Christmas Presents

Look, we get it, buying stuff for people you don't know that well can be hard, so here's a few of the stranger things that music acts are selling.

by Ryan Bassil
17 December 2018, 12:26pm

Still taken from Ariana Grande "Santa Tell Me" video

At the risk of sounding completely off the wall, every time December rolls around it’s the same thing. When I walk past festive decorations, a manic Noddy Holder inspired voice screams “it’s Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaas” inside my head. I ignore it without displaying even an inch of emotion.

But by the time December 23rd has rolled around, I can’t play ignorant anymore: “it’s Christmaaaaaaaas” and I need to buy some presents. And obviously I panic purchase candles and stuff from one department store because I’ve left it too late to do anything meaningful, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.

This Christmas will be different though. It’s a new year, new me (there are no rules, you can achieve things in any month, don’t let the haters get you down, especially at Christmas etc etc etc). If you’re feeling the same and wanting to get into the gift-buying early, then here’s a list of presents that you can purchase for the uncle/co-worker/weird-new-step-parent in your life.

Pencils, by Adele

Adele pencils

Whenever Adele begins writing a new record, she handpicks a new notebook to write her lyrics in.

“I do it every album. I buy a new pad, sniff it – 'cause smell is important – and then I get a big, fat sharpie and write my age on the front page,” she said, in an interview with i-D. “25 has five exclamation marks after it 'cause I was like, 'How the fuck did that happen?!' 21 to 25."

So I guess her label couldn’t pull that Sharpie collab through and these pencils live on in their place.

Buy this for: the person in your life that still regularly bangs out “Chasing Pavements” and keeps Adele in the charts.

Rizla, by Yellow Days

yellow days rizla

What says Christmas better than rolling up some trees, popping them in some paper and having a big schmoke? Probably a whole load of things, to be honest, like turkey and fairy lights and angels but hey: if you got it, toke it.

Buy this for: someone who smokes, obviously.

Lighter, by Tyler the Creator

golf wang lighter

Uh, so this gift is probably best combined with the rizla above but hey, don’t let us be the boss of you. Do what you want. It’s your life, your gifts – live and stand by your own regrets/celebrations.

Buy this for: your loveable pothead cousin who still hasn’t left the family home.

Games console, by Soulja Boy

So this isn’t out yet but it is worth bringing to your attention that Soulja Boy is releasing a games console, since that’s a wildly unexpected piece of news. No release date yet, either, so maybe expect to buy this as a gift sometime in 2026. Always good to plan ahead!

Buy this for: rap nerds.

Rubber bracelet, by Lady Gaga

lady_gaga

Remember when you could save the world from cancer by buying a Livestrong band? This is kinda like that, except, uh, I guess there’s not really a charity involved it’s just a piece of rubber that you wear on your wrist.

Buy this for: the super fans who literally do not give a fuck, they have to own everything.

Socks, by various artists

From Arctic Monkeys to Superorganism to Beyonce, so so so many acts sell socks as merch. This is good because everyone needs socks, and it also makes a nice change from getting a band t-shirt that you’ll only ever wear in bed before inevitably throwing up/snotting all over it on a sick day.

Buy these for: the person you usually buy socks for.

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