'Drunk or Stoned' United Stewardess: 'If Your Seatbelt Isn't Tight, You Fucked Up'

When it comes to air travel today, even if you manage to avoid a jet engine explosion, mass-vomit inducing turbulence, or flaming carry-on bags on a flight, you still have to endure hours trapped above the ground with a whole bunch of strangers. Sometimes you get lucky with the in-flight entertainment or meme-tastic safety videos, and other times you run the risk of getting into a massive, all-out brawl. Or, as some passengers on a United flight learned recently, sometimes you get stuck with a flight attendant who appears to be having a little too much fun on the job.

According to Erika Gorman, her trip from Denver to Williston, North Dakota, got real sloppy, real fast on Thursday thanks to a flight attendant who allegedly showed up to work "drunk or high." In a set of since-deleted tweets, Gorman uploaded photos of the stewardess slumped over in her seat and arguing with a passenger, berating the poor guy a few inches from his face—just part of what made Gorman's flight "terrifying."

"Drunk or stoned stewardess endangered everyone's lives," Gorman tweeted, according to ABC 7. "I had to go to the cockpit and call the pilot and tell them they had an out of control attendant."

Despite the fact that she was apparently hammered, the stewardess managed to get ahold of the plane's microphone to deliver her own version of the safety routine—something that passengers should really pay close attention to.

"If your seatbelt isn't tight, you fucked up," she said, according to Gorman.

Gorman said the cops were waiting for the flight attendant when the plane touched down in North Dakota, but she wasn't arrested, NBC affiliate KPRC reports. Trans States Airlines, the carrier operating Thursday's flight, told KPRC she's being "held out of service" while it investigates exactly what went down. Meanwhile, United apologized for what it called a "concerning incident," and went ahead and reimbursed everyone onboard.

The entire episode seems entirely plausible considering the airline is currently famous for violently dragging a guy off his flight, ending a puppy's life by cramming it into an overhead bin, and accidentally killing a giant rabbit. Maybe it's time we humans gave up flying altogether, since getting on a flight these days could either mean getting stuck with a drunk stewardess or having to suffer through a live concert at 35,000 feet.

Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.

Follow Drew Schwartz on Twitter.

Related: Spirit Airlines Chaos