FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Identity

The Realities of Catcalling Are Darker Than a New UK Survey Suggests

Sorry, but asking people about harassment, using the example "you look gorgeous today", feels like a wasted exercise.
Daisy Jones
London, GB
Hannah Ewens
London, GB
Lauren O'Neill
London, GB
Photo: Sueddeutsche Zeitung Photo / Alamy Stock Photo

Huge shout-out to the press team behind one of Britain's biggest social surveys, who yesterday managed to inspire at least five near-identical headlines, along the lines of "The UK's getting over traditional gender roles." Here's the brief: the National Centre for Social Research put out the 35th edition of its annual survey on Tuesday. That report takes the temperature of social values in the UK, on everything from how we feel about voting to the economy, climate change and, as its own section, Scotland. Sure.

Advertisement

Several publications have picked up on the survey's findings on gender. One of those has been that women are more likely than men to think that catcalling is OK. You can practically hear the, "Why do women online make a fuss about street harassment, then?" dogwhistle in the background. Of the women surveyed, 52 percent said it was "always" or "usually" wrong for a man on the street to make an unsolicited comment about how a woman looks. But 61 percent of men said the same.

The couple of thousand respondents were asked: "Imagine a woman is walking down the street. She passes a man who she does not know, and he comments loudly that she looks gorgeous today. Which of the following best describes what you think about the man's behaviour?

Never wrong, Rarely wrong, Sometimes wrong, Usually wrong, Always wrong."

I'm sorry, but… "you look gorgeous today" as a benchmark for street harassment? "YOU LOOK GORGEOUS TODAY" is less something a typical street harasser would bellow, and more a comment I'd expect from an auntie or one of those older men outside a betting shop who comments on your looks but isn't leering as he does so. There is a fine line between harassment and flirtation. As a general rule, flirtation is invited. The person you're trying to flirt with will be relaxed, receptive and showing genuine interest in you. People aren't feeling flirty when they go silent and shut down, freeze when you touch them, speed up their pace and walk away, have their headphones in and can't hear you anyway, force a smile and keep walking, say "thanks" then walk faster, or any of the many instinctive and learned behaviours women have developed to reject men without making those men angry and thus potentially violent. (Yes, #NotAllMen, I know.)

Advertisement

While I admire NatCen for trying, somewhat clumsily, to make a nod to the #MeToo movement, this is not it, lads. The daily realities of catcalling spread themselves along a spectrum that feels distinctly more terrible than this. As the researchers put it, "This scenario was purposefully chosen to gauge the public's reaction to an unsolicited comment, but not one which is inherently offensive or rude." Which… OK, but then what's the point? Until we collect enough data on real examples of real harassment, people who've not experienced it (or have chosen to "rise above it", as though that makes them stronger) will continue to dismiss women's accounts as anecdotal and not evidence-based.

Here are a few handy suggestions for future prompts NatCen could use, based on what some of the women at VICE UK have dealt with in the past.

Photo: Anna Berkut / Alamy Stock Photo

RIDING PAST ON A BIKE THEN DOING A FULL U-TURN, MOUNTING THE PAVEMENT AND BLOCKING YOUR PATH ON IT BECAUSE THEY "JUST WANT TO TALK"

The last person to do this to me was a teenager, still in his school blazer, which helped shift it from "potentially menacing" to "lmao boy I am at least ten years older than you and not interested". Not unlike the slowdown drive-by (keep reading for that treat!), this is hellish because the harasser both invades your personal space and assumes they're entitled to your time, without asking whether you do, in fact, want to chat.

– Tshepo Mokoena

Advertisement

DRIVING BY VERY SLOWLY AND TALKING AT YOU AS YOU'RE WALKING, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE VISIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE / SPEEDING UP!

Nothing is more creepy and intimidating than someone leering at you from the safety of a literal metal box. How else does an American highway killer approach his teenage prey in every horror movie you’ve ever seen? The worst part is that whenever this scenario happens – whether they stay eerily silent within the car or start calling out to you – you instinctively tense up or dramatically speed up your walk to escape, clearly indicating that you hate what is happening. But they never care. Poll: Is it worse that they know you hate what they’re doing, or if they are completely ignorant to your body language screaming out for help?

– Hannah Ewens

FOLLOWING SOMEONE AROUND

Street harassment doesn't have to involve physical touching. It doesn’t even have to involve words. Sometimes threatening, predatory behaviour can also be following someone around the street for ages until they're made aware of your presence. You know, I should be able to go to the shop without some dude twice my age hanging behind me, crossing the road when I cross, crossing back when I cross back. Anyone should. Fuck off!!!

– Daisy Jones

MAKING EYE CONTACT, DOING KISSY-LIPS THEN SAYING NOTHING

File next to: sticking out your tongue and miming cunnilingus as fucked up mouth things that would constitute a clearer example of harassment than saying, "You look gorgeous." Show me an elderly couple for whom this introduction led to a lifelong partnership and I will ignore that anyway, because women 50 years ago were so steeped in sexism that they might have thought doing kissy lips was "just a bit of fun", "harmless" or normal.

– Tshepo Mokoena

Advertisement

PAWING AT YOUR BODY

Worst-case scenario, I suppose, is someone actually touching you without your consent. Sometimes drunken lunges and groping happen, and it's upsetting or traumatising. Retelling these stories to men often elicits responses of, "Wow, that's awful, I'm so sorry?" – so concrete is the evidence that it annoyingly becomes the "realest" sort of street harassment. What's personal space when you’ve grown up with the notion that your body is public property? Ha-ha.

– Hannah Ewens

MAKING LEWD COMMENTS WHEN YOU HAVE WALKED PAST BUT ARE STILL IN EARSHOT

Even if you share your comment about your dick and my arse or my legs or my mouth, or whatever other witticism you have to offer once I can't see you anymore, chances are I'll still be able to hear it, genius! Say it to my face so I can tell you to get fucked to yours, thanks.

– Lauren O’Neill

WAITING UNTIL THE ABSOLUTE LAST SECOND TO LEAN OVER AND WHISPER 'HEY SEXY' IN YOUR EAR AS YOU PASS ON THE STREET

Quick thing: don't ever do this. It shows an embarrassing cowardice, where you, a harasser, aren’t even able to say your gross thing with your chest. This scenario seems to happen most when I’ve chosen not to listen to a podcast about Brexit on a sunny day, and instead want to just look up at the sky, sigh and stroll along the street. Someone interrupting that to whisper 2cm from my face is an abomination.

– Tshepo Mokoena

OGLING IN LARGE, SILENT GROUPS

On a recent hot day, I wore a new dress with a kind of V-neck. I suppose you could say – at risk of sounding like a Sun article – that I was "sporting" a bit more "cleavage" (I'm sorry, I regret it already) than usual. My usual is no cleavage. I clocked a group of guys having a beer outside a pub. As I got closer, it felt like they noticed me one by one, and as I moved level with them they went totally silent, looking at me as I went past. Obviously this in itself isn't harassment, and there's no crime in being quiet, but the fact that they'd done so as I walked by, all at once, made me feel very watched and vulnerable in that moment, as if I was just there to be looked at by this group of men. Since this occasion, I notice this happening all the time now. Not a nice way to treat a fellow human being imo! Even if you're doing it subconsciously, please be conscious of it! Let someone walk past! People's bodies – even cleavages!! – don't have to be inherently sexual! Let me enjoy my nice dress in peace!

– Lauren O’Neill

@hannahrosewens / @tnm___ / @hiyalauren / @daisythejones