In a world full of logical conundrums, all of us are faced with difficult and potentially guilt-ridden dilemmas. This is an ambiguous moral existence, and the line between right and wrong is often impossibly blurred. Decisions which seem decent and straightforward often have unintended consequences, while choices made with the worst intentions sometimes turn out for the best. In such a fundamentally ambivalent cosmos, can any of us really say we are ethical beings?
Indeed, are we even capable of maintaining an ethical standpoint? And what happens if there's delicious pizza involved?
These are the questions that the residents of Naples are now having to ask themselves, after a local pizzeria posed them with the moral dilemma of the decade. As reported in Gazetta World, a restaurant called 'Show Pizza' has offered 99c Margheritas as a promotion to coincide with Gonzalo Higuain's first injury at Juventus. Higuain has, of course, just made a controversial move to Juve from Napoli, leaving Campania for an enormous €90m. That's enough money to buy a fleet of private jets, a vast mansion on the outskirts of Turin or, in fact, just over 90 million Margherita pizzas, dependent on Higuain suffering a mild hamstring tweak.
Now, we understand that Napoli fans are frustrated by the Higuain transfer. He has left them for their title rivals, cast off his loyalties and perhaps condemned them to another season without silverware, joining Juventus at their direct expense. That said, it seems a tad spiteful to celebrate him getting a mid-season calf strain by gorging on masses of cut-price pizza. Imagine gobbling down a mouthful of molten mozzarella, while simultaneously delighting at a light blow to Higuain's ankle. Imagine slurping down yet another slice of moist Margherita, maddened by the ecstasy of knowing Higuain might be out for two weeks with a particularly uncomfortable groin strain.
While 'Show Pizza' probably intended this as a lighthearted promotional stunt, they have only succeeded in plunging the city of Naples into ethical disarray. Is it okay to profit from Gonzalo Higuain's suffering, if it means feasting on fuckloads of cheap pizza? Napoli fans must consult their consciences, and search for the answer deep within their own selves.