Hey Ron! Interracial Dating

This week we present a very special edition of Hey Ron! A couple days back, a Vice staffer sent Ron a link to an article on a “Nubian princess” type of site. The piece (if you can call it that) was one of those listicle dealies that outlines why black women should date white men instead of black guys. Don Ron DeMarco was infuriated, so we asked him to fire back. Here ’tis, his point-by-point retort. Personally, I think this lady has issues. Maybe she’s basing her views on her past. Maybe she comes from a broken home. I’m not really sure. If she looks at her complexion she’ll realize that both her parents are black. So you’re also stating this about your father, your grandfather, and your forefathers—that whoever is reading this garbage shouldn’t date people like them—which makes her, you know, pretty much an idiot. 1. THEY OPEN WIDE INSTEAD OF DOWN LOW She starts off talking about how white guys are less likely to be in the closet. I wouldn’t know too much about that because I hang out with heterosexuals. So maybe there are a lot of homosexuals wherever she hangs out. Or maybe she’s not that good in bed, so the guys she dates decide the best way out is to pretend they’re gay. Maybe she sucks. Maybe she doesn’t suck that well… if you know what I’m saying. 2. NOT LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM I’m not looking for a mother. I had one of those. Having a father is a different subject. I don’t need a woman to take care of me. Again, she must be looking for men in the wrong place. Maybe she goes to homeless shelters or the unemployment line, because the guys I know work and they take care of themselves. They don’t look for a woman to take care of them. They pursue a woman to become one with that person and build with that person. Not, “Now what can you do for me?” That sounds like a Janet Jackson song. 3. (MORE LIKELY TO) ATTEND AND GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE Maybe this is more true in urban areas, but I’ve been to places in the South—Duke, UNC, Georgetown—where there are plenty of black students. Who do you think goes to inner-city colleges in NYC? It may not be an ivy league, but black kids do graduate from college—trust me. Eventually we’ll have more black people in college than we do in prison. The prison was built to enslave us, but we’re not going to get into THAT because that’s a different subject. 4. AT LEAST ATTEMPT TO MARRY BEFORE MAKING BABIES I don’t know if she’s ever heard of trailer park trash or hillbillies, but there’s a lot of that going around. Black men do marry women. I’m a married man. My father’s a married man. I wasn’t born a bastard. I know who my mother and father are. They were married before having me. She’s full of crap. 5. THEY DON’T GLAMOURIZE IGNORANCE She’s basing this strictly on rap music. I’ll give that to her, but guess who imitates them? White people. Wiggers. Her point here is very dull—like a razor that don’t cut. But it does hold a little water in a pool. It won’t make a ripple but you’ll see it there. Meaning, if you drop water or something heavy in water it’ll ripple. It’ll leave a ripple effect. What she’s saying doesn’t hold water because it doesn’t—it only talks about less than one percent of the population. 6. FINANCIAL PLANNING AND STABILITY Most black people do have a financial plan. It’s called being a drug dealer. I’m kidding, but there are a lot of black people who plan. They plan on living for today. That’s their financial plan. If you go to most colleges, 90 percent of the students—white or black—are in debt. She’s just picking out the worst of every situation, and she’s using black people as the scapegoat. 7. HAVE THE ABILITY TO LOOK BEYOND YOUR PAST I don’t understand her point. What does it mean? Everybody has a past. Now I’m not trying to date a girl who went to prison, but if she didn’t graduate college it doesn’t make her less of a person or beneath me. Her past must really suck. 8. DON’T TAKE EVERYTHING AS A CHALLENGE TO THEIR MASCULINITY I don’t think we take everything as a challenge, but if you don’t stand for something you’re gonna fall for everything. You should not settle. From the looks of the photos she used with the article, she settles for dating dorky white dudes. She wants a man she can control. If she picked a black man who was physically and mentally strong she couldn’t handle that because she has to feel superior. And dorky white guys probably only date her because she’s black, so it’s a win-win situation. Maybe those are the type of guys she attracts because she’s got short hair. I don’t know. Most men like long hair, like myself. Hold it from the back.