Boston Bombing Hoaxer, You Have My Attention

Screenshot via Kevin Edson's Youtube channel

Dear Kevin "Kayvon" Edson,

Nice to meet you. I regret that our introduction had to happen while you're locked up in a mental institution, but I'm sure you'll admit, you pretty much brought that upon yourself.

Yesterday, on the one-year anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombings, you saw fit to leave two backpacks (or maybe just one. I'm sure you'll clarify), one of which contained a rice cooker, at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. At 7:00 PM, police cleared people away from the scene, and at 9:00 PM, they detonated your rice cooker, which you had filled with confetti. Good thinking. When detonated, a little flag with the word "Bang!" on it might have been destroyed, which would've spoiled the effect.

The detonation. Image via Instagram user heyratty

My first guess, that this would all be a statement about the racist, haphazard vigilantism that spun out of control in the aftermath of the real Boston Bombings last year, was wrong.

You didn't conceal your identity at all. You wore no shoes and a floppy, veiled hat while you marched down the street shouting "Boston Strong! Boston Strong!" before you dropped off the backpack on Boylston Street. A lot of people filmed it all with their phones. You weren't hiding at all. After dropping off the rice cooker, you told a cop it was a rice cooker.

Nearby, public transportation came to a halt, and people were told to go inside, and stay away from windows. Most of them knew the deal anyway, because they no doubt have fresh, year-old trauma, and the vigilance that comes with it. Many of the people at that marathon and in those homes would have suffered injuries during last year's attack. Some of them may have lost family members, so they probably knew how to take shelter during a bomb threat. Maybe their PTSD is worse now.

Fully knowing you were going to be arrested, you updated your website to include some pictures of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, with comments about how hot he is. Having a crush on Tsarnaev was briefly a news thing ten months ago, and I think you recycled the pictures from back then. Pretty avant garde of you.

It turns out you're a fashion designer and a performance artist, though without any obvious examples of success at either pursuit. Previous examples I mean. Your Twitter bio reads, "Kayvon is a total Avantgardster and a Fashion Dinosaur. He makes mad f@$h10n and will tell 'ya straight- even though he's a total fag," and you say in your introductory video, "I really need exposure." Indeed. You also point out that "it's all about making an entrance." Point taken. I didn't know who you were before yesterday.

In your video, you go on to say, "The clothes that I design are much less avant garde than the clothes that I wear. They're much more commercial." That surprises me, but then, you say that you "really hope that I can just show the world how to dress," and that your goal is to "bring the world to a more stylish, and freely dressing place." Cool. Someone should do that. We're too uptight about clothes, man. Also, fake bombings.

"Two weeks after attending Parson's School of Design, I was diagnosed bipolar," you admit, late in your video. That adds up. Bipolar disorder is rough. You can be well-adjusted and productive, but prone to moments of extreme darkness, like Stephen Fry. Or almost completely unable to function without constant care, like Daniel Johnston.

Screenshot via Edson's Youtube channel

I guess what I'm saying, Mr. Edson, is that I'm listening. Your Facebook profile is down right now, you never seem to have figured out how to use Twitter very effectively, and you might be getting studied in a padded cell, but I'm looking forward to the first time you get the opportunity to talk into a microphone that's plugged into a major media outlet. That's when we'll find out what your "performance art" is all about, right?

Stephen Fry and Daniel Johnston never accomplished anything on this scale during a manic episode. So no doubt, you've got a point of view to espouse with all this, right?

Otherwise, what would be the point of getting the attention of the international media, and re-traumatizing your city on the anniversary of a tragedy? What would be the point of seeking all this attention just because you need a lobotomy? It's like grabbing someone by the collar and screaming, "I like grabbing collars!" You wouldn't just leave us all shaking our heads, wondering what the point of all that was, right?

So, Mr. Edson, you have my attention now. Dazzle me.

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