Stories of self-isolated couples fighting have already been monetized for a good cause, but I don't particularly care about bean-bloated partners bickering about headphone etiquette. What I wanted to see on my TL was a flood of posts about queers in isolation falling in love with and/or shagging their roommates.
Ask and ye shall receive: My DMs were overrun with stories of queer lust, gay yearning, and microwavable entrees. Below is a sampling of some of the dozens of messages I received about roommates finding queer sex and romance under the same roof.
Most names have been changed for privacy reasons. Interviews have been edited for length and clarity.
Carol, São Paulo, Brazil
I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment in São Paulo, yet somehow found myself isolated at home with a friend that I didn't know all that well before. We've known each other for years through mutual friends, but had never been close. Before Brazil started taking this [pandemic] seriously, she asked if she could crash with me for a couple of days while she looked for an apartment. Since I was about to leave for a week-long work trip, I told her to take the keys and make herself at home.
The day I came back from my trip, we decided to self-isolate together, even though there was only one bed for us to share. I couldn't sleep, so I sat up. When she asked me what was wrong, I asked, "Any chance you might want to, uh, add benefits to this friendship?"
She just said, "Thank god," and that was that.
Now, we're co-parenting her dog, sharing a bed, cooking together, and planning our entire quarantine together. All our friends say we accidentally got married? It's an extreme quarantine version of the infamous lesbian U-Haul. We haven't put a label on what we have—but it sure is a very intense friends with benefits situation. We're sexually involved, but it's not necessarily romantic. We're thrilled—we're having fun with this whole thing. Plus, I got a dog in the deal.
Jess, 21, Florida
LISTEN IF U POST ABOUT THIS I WANNA STAY ANON, BUT ME AND MY ROOMMATE BOTH TRANS GIRLS B CUDDLIN AND FUCKIN A LOT AND THAT'S ALL I GOTTA SAY LMAO
[When VICE followed up, that was not all she had to say.]
We spent every day together, even before we were roommates. We've been best friends for a while now! We became roommates because our leases were up at the same time. While isolating together, we were growing a li'l more touchy with each other, and, like, sharing blankets. The day we started hooking up, we were watching YouTube on the couch and snuggling. I was laying on her chest (being a bit of a tease), and I looked up at her, and we started making out. Then she spanked me a little with a toy I had left out in the living room, one thing led to another, and we ended up in the bedroom, going AT IT. Two goths, one apartment... what do you expect, LMAO. Also, she's VERY dom, and I'm a baby, so our hooking up was inevitable if we're locked up together.
Kris, 21, Boulder, CO
I had a girlfriend when my not-straight roommate and I got drunk the first day of quarantine and my roommate told me she liked me. Not long after, she wrote me a two-page love letter confessing her deep love for me (she actually brought it to my work before I had to stop working).
My favorite quote from the letter is, “Every moment we share makes my body tingly inside. I want an intimate, deep bond, but I don’t want it with just anyone. I want it with you.” I literally read it on repeat in my head.
She came home and I wanted to show her that I felt the same way… so we had sex from like 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. Ever since, we have been having literally the best sex ever. Our straight roommate hates us—she yelled at us after she found out that we were having sex and now she doesn’t talk to us, and, for the time being, is living with her dad.
I broke up with my girlfriend, and my roommate took me on a quarantine date. She made dinner and set up a picnic in our apartment living room with candles. Then the city relit the Flagstaff star (a star-shaped light display on the mountains in Boulder). We drove there and walked up to it, and she asked me to be her girlfriend. I said yes.
Annie, 20, Michigan
I’ve been basically in love with my roommate for the past six months, and now that we’re in quarantine, we’ve been drunk-talking over boxed wine and frozen taquitos until 6 or 7 a.m. when the sun comes up. I’ve been playing my guitar for her, and LAST NIGHT SHE KISSED ME AND I'M SO HAPPY TO BE STUCK WITH HER. When I tell you it’s been a dream!
When I woke up today, we were texting even though we were in rooms next to each other. I’ve been knitting a lot in quarantine, and she wants me to teach her how. We kissed again, and she told me she’s had a thing for me since I moved in!
Francesca, 24, London
My flatmate and I were already openly queer, but spending more and more time together was a powder keg. We've lived together since September (we live in student accommodation, so it was fully random) and, apparently, we've both had small crushes on each other.
We had been at the Last Party of the year, which was the last gathering our classmates would have, since the rest of classes were cancelled. We both wanted to leave early since we don't love staying up late. We were sitting together on the bus and, suddenly, holding hands.
After we got to our flat, I said something like, "Oh, time for bed!"
She said, "Or you can come hang out!"
We laid down on her bed, facing each other, talking and holding hands again for a long time. An hour and a half later, we were almost falling asleep so we agreed it was time for bed. We stood up, and I said, "Welp! Guess I should go!" and made no move to actually do so.
She said, "Are you sure?"
We went back and forth like this for what felt like a really long time, interspersed with pauses where we just stared at each other. Eventually, she said, "Can I at least have a hug?" and I obliged. After a bit, we pulled apart, I looked down and she's looking up at me, and then—of course!—we kissed. It was great.
From there, we talked about it and knew we wanted to actually be together. We really don't get sick of each other even when spending days at a time together, which isolation has proved.
Aubrey, 22, Grand Junction, CO
My roommate and I have always known we were attracted to each other; I was actually once the third with her and her ex-husband. They’re divorced now, and I live with her in a small apartment with our two dogs. We call ourselves “partners," but in a best friend way. I was OK with us being friends; she’s always loved me better than anyone else has ever been able to, so even just being her friend is a delight.
She is the most incredible woman. She has crazy curly hair and she’s super short and wears glasses. She’s really smart and loves so wonderfully. She hates to do dishes, but that’s really her only flaw as a living partner. She used to be a florist, so sometimes she’ll just surprise me with fun arrangements.
She has a boyfriend, but she’s been getting annoyed at him a lot lately. One night last week, we were watching Grace and Frankie together, like we do every night, when she kissed me and said “I think the problem with [her boyfriend] is that he isn’t you.” It was AMAZING. We ended up sleeping together while Grace and Frankie was still playing. She had to work early, so we went to bed after, and I guessed we'd talk more about it that night.
She ended things with her boyfriend, and when I came home from work the next day, she had cleaned the house, made me a bouquet, and cooked fajitas. We’re looking at houses we want to move into in May now.
This article originally appeared on VICE US.