We Got People to Order Drugs from Least Bad to Really Bad

Which drug is the worst? I don't mean "which drug makes you feel the worst" – that's obviously the crap speed dealers try to pass off as MDMA. No: which drug is the most serious? As in, if you found out your friend had got into it you'd be like, "Maybe you should… stop?" Also, does everyone have the same ranking system, or does experience, media discourse and Hollywood skew people's opinions in all sorts of different directions?

Let's find out.

VICE: What order would you put drugs in, from least bad to bad?
Milo: For me, the worst are all the really dirty drugs; I guess crack, meth, glue.

So K, heroin – they're at the worse end of the scale?
Anything that is really cheap, like K or speed, just freaks me out, I guess. Am I crazy? I used to do psychedelics and stuff, and now I'm micro-dosing and slowly getting used to it being OK, but I guess when you haven't done much and then someone gives you a lot, it can be really scary. I'm quite open-minded, but my parents friends have been multi-millionaires, been on heroin or crack and have just lost everything. So it's just a big no-no for me.

If the person using crack is a millionaire?
Even if it's Kim K, it's still rough.

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VICE: What order would you put drugs in, from least bad to most bad?
Max: Well, first of all marijuana. Like, I don't classify that as a drug. I'm not religious, but if you take it in that sense, it's just a plant that has grown on the Earth. I think, through propaganda, the government manufactured this stigma around it and made it seem worse than getting pissed. The war on weed is not necessary, so if my mate started smoking marijuana I wouldn't be opposed to it – I'd just say, "Don't let it engulf you."

Moving up, I think alcohol is a drug. It's legal, but you still get intoxicated from it, and it does a lot more harm than something like weed – it hurts your liver and it makes you anxious. I think if you are going to do psychedelics or anything then I cannot say yes or no to people who want to have that experience. I don't know anything about it, so I can't really comment, and anything beyond that I'd tell my mate, like, "Bro – don't do it." I'd be a bit worried. If things are natural, if they come from the soil, how bad can they be for you?

Pretty bad, I think?
Anything that is not damaging to you or anyone around you, then you should do what you want – but there are obviously lines that shouldn't be crossed.

That applies to everything, ever. You remind me of a politician.
I like to think I am presenting a balanced argument.

VICE: What order would you put drugs in from least bad to bad?
Sarah: If my friend was smoking weed I'd be concerned, if they were taking cocaine I'd be concerned, if they were taking MD I'd be concerned and if they were taking meth or heroin I'd be very concerned.

So drugs in general are pretty concerning?
Yeah, they definitely concern me. You have picked a right nana to ask these questions. I mean, it depends how often and why; if you're taking these drugs at a festival and it's a one-off, I probably wouldn't be concerned, but if you're taking substances every weekend I would definitely be worried.

Why would something like weed worry you?
Why wouldn't it? I have seen the effects of long-term weed abuse. I know people who smoke weed, and it was the biggest conversation of my day today because their mood – I can't deal with it. They're not stable, and a couple of them have come off it, and I can see the difference, so that to me is evidence in itself. I believe there are huge medical benefits and I believe it should be legal, but I definitely see the reliance on it and that's not good. There are a lot of mental effects, like anxiety, apathy, paranoia, that I can see directly.

Are you concerned about booze?
I hate alcohol. I drink, but I don't drink.

What does that mean?
I can't tolerate alcohol.

That must be difficult, because everything in our society is geared towards getting pissed.
I think, above all things, alcohol should be more illegal than weed. I think it's only accepted because it's a money-maker, and I think the government know that. Drunk people are violent, alcohol causes massive injuries, it's clogging the medical system. People drink to the point where they induce their own collapse or walk into the road or stand on glass or whatever. I don't understand how parts of the world have accepted that consuming that much alcohol is OK. I live in Shoreditch and I don't go out onto the streets on the weekend because I am sick of these flopping, ragging bodies. They don't even see you; they bump into you and go "sorry" in this gross slurry voice.

What order would you put drugs in from least bad to bad?
Heroin, then meth, LSD, Cocaine, weed, ecstasy, cigarettes and then alcohol.

I presume you did that the wrong way round. It was meant to be least bad to worst, unless you think beer is worse for you than crack?
Oh shit, yeah, it would worry me if my mate started injecting heroin.

It's interesting you think ecstasy is less bad than weed.
I think ecstasy can be quite good for you when you need to blitz through some endorphins.

Like your body is a happiness nutri-bullet?
Yeah, exactly. Whereas weed makes you paranoid and it's not like you become sad for a day and you notice it – it creeps in like a bad fart smell. It has worse effects over a longer period of time, rather than some tissues and one day spent sobbing in the dark.

VICE: What order would you put drugs in from least bad to bad?
Sky: Alcohol, weed, shrooms, MD, LSD, cocaine, heroin. Those are the only ones I can think of.

So for you shrooms are less bad than coke?
I think shrooms can open your mind to a few different things if you're in a good mindset, but you shouldn't take psychedelics if you have issues with anxiety or stress. Otherwise you'll have a bad trip and end up cradling your knees in the dark, thinking about something disgusting, like David Lynch shit. I guess there's more of a stigma around cocaine because all the people who take it in films have, like, bloodshot eyes and are dribbling foam, and even if all they have is one tiny key they always become addicted.

So coke is bad because it's addictive?
Yeah. I know I'm never going to wake up and think, 'I need some shrooms today or I won't be able to function as a human.'

People get psychologically addicted to weed and that was very low down your list.
Yes, 'cause weed isn't addictive, but it is. It's like situationally addictive. If you come home every day and your friends are sat on the sofa with duvets and a joint, it's really hard to say no when they pass it to you.

Fair point. Thanks, Sky.

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