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Some Genius Has Made an App to Help Angry Douchebags Fight Each Other

Rumblr is like Tinder, only for "throwing down" rather than boning.

by Julian Morgans
09 November 2015, 1:05pm

Screenshot via Rumblr site

Rumblr is a lot like Fight Club. It's an app that promises to set up fights between anonymous meatheads, or provide a spectacle for people who just want to watch. As their surprisingly slick website expounds, "You don't need to fight to use Rumblr. With Rumblr Explore, anyone can browse and attend fights close by that other Rumblr users have arranged - all for free!"

At the moment the app doesn't actually exist. The Beta version of Rumblr will allegedly launch at 9am Tuesday, AEDT. That means if you're feeling fighty around Sydney tomorrow morning—Rumblr. How this will affect young males, law enforcement, or the public health system is yet to be seen, but here's how it'll work.

Rumblr is also a lot like Tinder. You set up an account with your favourite douchey profile pic, and then scroll through all the other douchey profile pics looking for ones you want to punch. As the Rumblr site heavily features someone named Mattyice67 who looks like Eminem's worst fan, this will be easy. Then you swipe right, confirming you want to dance, before going to the courting page where you can do some trash talking and schedule a fight. The example map on the site indicates there will be fights in Harlem.

There also seems to be a page for aggressive chicks (RumblrHER) as well as people who like to fight in teams (RumblrGROUP). There's also a section where you can scope out the stats on your opponents. There seems to be a cute sort of Napoleon Dynamite dynamic at play here, as you can list your fighting specialities. Mattyice67 has listed his specialities as "karate" and "other".

Now, this could all be bullshit but the NY Daily News seems convinced that it's not. According to the developer they've raised considerable funds from investors and the app is ready to go live. Apparently they were also working with the iOS app store to iron out legal issues before launching.

I won't say this isn't somehow quietly exhilarating, but I'll also just highlight how stupendously dumb it is. If you want this confirmed, check out some of the guys who are tweeting about it. Rumblr's target fan base isn't looking good.

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