Politics
FRANCE AND GREECE ELECTED FOR CHANGE
Voters fuck off centre-right austerity for promises of the centre-left
(Greece report via/ France via)
There were important elections in two European countries this weekend. In France, centre-right incumbent Nicolas Sarkozy was booted from the president's chair in favour of Socialist "Mr Normal" Francois Hollande. And in Greece, no one really knows what's going on, but Antonis Samaras, the guy who was running the show before, won't be doing so for much longer. In both countries, voters broadly rejected austerity in favour of alternative politicians and parties who promised to stop pinching the pennies and start encouraging people to spend their way out of debt. While Hollande's victory has been greeted positively by pretty much everyone bar his opponents, some of the new men and women (mostly men) buffing Greece's corridors of power with their knuckles haven't been made to feel quite as welcome. This is because they are part of Golden Dawn, a group of nationalist Greek arseholes (check out our interview with them here). Greece doesn't have a fully-formed government yet – Samaras won the election, but didn't claim a big enough share of the vote to govern alone, and even though he asked everyone bar Golden Dawn to be his mate, no one wants to rule Greece with him.Drugs
CHINESE PEOPLE ARE GRINDING UP DEAD BABIES AND TURNING THEM INTO DRUGS
FFS, China(via)
In China there are some people who think a good way to make some cash is to grind up dead babies and sell the resultant powder as drugs. Thousands of the capsules have been found by customs officials in South Korea since last August. Apparently there's quite a demand for the pills because the people who take them consider them a miracle medicinal "cure-all". But surprisingly it's not good for you to eat dead babies and people have been getting ill off them. The supply of babies comes from corrupt medical staff who have been selling on aborted or still-born kids to medical companies. The corpses are bought, stored in fridges, microwaved, made into powder and mixed with herbs to hide their true nature from the authorities.I hope someone tells me this story is a hoax soon.Cinema
A MALE MASSEUR RECKONS HE KNOWS WHAT JOHN TRAVOLTA'S PENIS LOOKS LIKE
And is suing him because of it
(via)
John Travolta is being sued by a male masseur for assault and sexual battery. The anonymous massager is seeking $2m plus damages because – HE ALLEGES – Travolta "began rubbing [his] leg, touched his scrotum and the shaft of the penis" after the actor disrobed during an appointment. Sound plausible? Oh wait, here comes the crazy. According to the lawsuit, Travolta also revealed in this exchange that he "got where he is now due to sexual favours he had performed when he was in his Welcome Back, Kotter days," and that "Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favours in return for sexual activity." It also states that Travolta's penis is "roughly eight inches in length" and his pubes are "wirey and unkempt". Read the whole lawsuit here, and Travolta's swift and predictable rebuttal – essentially 'I was on the other side of the United States, FFS!' – here. Cash
WONGA IS ABOUT TO START SCREWING AILING BUSINESSES AS WELL AS AILING PEOPLE
They'll lend them money then ask for tonnes more back
(via)
Wonga.com, who lend money to people at an interest rate of 4,214 percent, are about to start lending money to businesses too. They're only gonna charge 17 percent interest. But that's still pretty high, right?Interior Design
LET'S ALL LAUGH AT THIS MAFIA GUY'S BAD TASTE
Nicola Schiavone's house is a lot of fun
(via)
Poor Nicola Schiavone. Not only is the Camorra clan leader in jail after his house near Naples was raided by police, they also released a bunch of pictures of it so that the world can laugh at him.And just to prove that things totally aren't going to shit in Italy now that the economy's on the slide, the boss of a nuclear engineering company was kneecapped by a gunman on a motorbike this weekend. Music
SWISS RAVERS KILLED DOLPHINS WITH DRUGS
Allegedly(via)
In 2011, a couple of dolphins died at the Connyland amusement park in Switzerland. An investigation into their deaths reckons it wasn't loud music from a nearby techno rave that killed them, as initially was thought. Instead, they believe it was a heroin substitute that may or may not have been fed to them by ravers. Traces of the semi-synthetic opiod buprenorphine was found in the urine of the dolphins, whose names were Shadow (RIP) and Chelmers (RIP). Typically, heroin users are prescribed buprenorphine to help them get off it. Unfortunately it's far less helpful to underwater mammals as it can often shut down the part of their brain that reminds them to breathe. A keeper at Connyland called Nadja Gasser has said that the dolphins suffered a "horrendous" death and that she hasn't been able to sleep since.
FRANCE AND GREECE ELECTED FOR CHANGE
Voters fuck off centre-right austerity for promises of the centre-left
There were important elections in two European countries this weekend. In France, centre-right incumbent Nicolas Sarkozy was booted from the president's chair in favour of Socialist "Mr Normal" Francois Hollande. And in Greece, no one really knows what's going on, but Antonis Samaras, the guy who was running the show before, won't be doing so for much longer. In both countries, voters broadly rejected austerity in favour of alternative politicians and parties who promised to stop pinching the pennies and start encouraging people to spend their way out of debt. While Hollande's victory has been greeted positively by pretty much everyone bar his opponents, some of the new men and women (mostly men) buffing Greece's corridors of power with their knuckles haven't been made to feel quite as welcome. This is because they are part of Golden Dawn, a group of nationalist Greek arseholes (check out our interview with them here). Greece doesn't have a fully-formed government yet – Samaras won the election, but didn't claim a big enough share of the vote to govern alone, and even though he asked everyone bar Golden Dawn to be his mate, no one wants to rule Greece with him.
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CHINESE PEOPLE ARE GRINDING UP DEAD BABIES AND TURNING THEM INTO DRUGS
FFS, China(via)
In China there are some people who think a good way to make some cash is to grind up dead babies and sell the resultant powder as drugs. Thousands of the capsules have been found by customs officials in South Korea since last August. Apparently there's quite a demand for the pills because the people who take them consider them a miracle medicinal "cure-all". But surprisingly it's not good for you to eat dead babies and people have been getting ill off them. The supply of babies comes from corrupt medical staff who have been selling on aborted or still-born kids to medical companies. The corpses are bought, stored in fridges, microwaved, made into powder and mixed with herbs to hide their true nature from the authorities.I hope someone tells me this story is a hoax soon.Cinema
A MALE MASSEUR RECKONS HE KNOWS WHAT JOHN TRAVOLTA'S PENIS LOOKS LIKE
And is suing him because of it
John Travolta is being sued by a male masseur for assault and sexual battery. The anonymous massager is seeking $2m plus damages because – HE ALLEGES – Travolta "began rubbing [his] leg, touched his scrotum and the shaft of the penis" after the actor disrobed during an appointment. Sound plausible? Oh wait, here comes the crazy. According to the lawsuit, Travolta also revealed in this exchange that he "got where he is now due to sexual favours he had performed when he was in his Welcome Back, Kotter days," and that "Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favours in return for sexual activity." It also states that Travolta's penis is "roughly eight inches in length" and his pubes are "wirey and unkempt". Read the whole lawsuit here, and Travolta's swift and predictable rebuttal – essentially 'I was on the other side of the United States, FFS!' – here. Cash
WONGA IS ABOUT TO START SCREWING AILING BUSINESSES AS WELL AS AILING PEOPLE
They'll lend them money then ask for tonnes more back
Advertisement
Wonga.com, who lend money to people at an interest rate of 4,214 percent, are about to start lending money to businesses too. They're only gonna charge 17 percent interest. But that's still pretty high, right?Interior Design
LET'S ALL LAUGH AT THIS MAFIA GUY'S BAD TASTE
Nicola Schiavone's house is a lot of fun
Poor Nicola Schiavone. Not only is the Camorra clan leader in jail after his house near Naples was raided by police, they also released a bunch of pictures of it so that the world can laugh at him.And just to prove that things totally aren't going to shit in Italy now that the economy's on the slide, the boss of a nuclear engineering company was kneecapped by a gunman on a motorbike this weekend. Music
SWISS RAVERS KILLED DOLPHINS WITH DRUGS
Allegedly(via)
In 2011, a couple of dolphins died at the Connyland amusement park in Switzerland. An investigation into their deaths reckons it wasn't loud music from a nearby techno rave that killed them, as initially was thought. Instead, they believe it was a heroin substitute that may or may not have been fed to them by ravers. Traces of the semi-synthetic opiod buprenorphine was found in the urine of the dolphins, whose names were Shadow (RIP) and Chelmers (RIP). Typically, heroin users are prescribed buprenorphine to help them get off it. Unfortunately it's far less helpful to underwater mammals as it can often shut down the part of their brain that reminds them to breathe. A keeper at Connyland called Nadja Gasser has said that the dolphins suffered a "horrendous" death and that she hasn't been able to sleep since.