Porn Stars Talk About Losing Their Virginity

We visited the Venus 2016 Festival in Berlin to ask porn stars the differences between real sex and sex on camera.

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08 November 2016, 9:00am

Photo by Grey Hutton.

This article originally appeared on VICE Germany

For years, educators and politicians have been in a constant debate over what sex education in schools should entail, leaving most kids to get their sexual education online – in the form of an iPhone video of a BBW getting bukkaked by a group of burly guys.

There is no question that porn plays an important role in how young people perceive sexuality. According to The Guardian, "a recent survey of more than 1,000 children aged 11 to 16, found that 94 percent of them had seen [porn] by the age of 14." Which is why Labour shadow minister Sarah Champion suggested last week that educators should start teaching kids about pornography before they stumble on it themselves.

A good way to start doing that is by showing that even if porn doesn't always reflect reality, the actors are real people. People, who at one point also experienced the stress of having sex for the first time. We visited the Venus 2016 Festival in Berlin to ask porn stars about their first time and the differences between real sex and sex on camera.

Aaron Van Damage, 38

VICE: How old were you when you had sex for the first time?
Aaron Van Damage: I was 15. I was at a heavy metal concert in a youth club in Kassel, Germany, when this 25-year-old girl picked me up. I was so drunk that I could hardly walk. When we finally got to her place it all happened very fast.

Did you have sex right away?
Yeah, it was like we blinked and we were naked. She sat on me while she was pretty dry. When it really kicked off, it kind of hurt at first and burnt. But it was still really fun and I was happy with how I did.

How long did your first time take?
I lasted about 15 minutes. Afterwards, I felt insecure because my dick was so slippery. It was very dark in that room, so I didn't understand why everything was so wet. Until I finally realised that her bum, the wall and floor were all red. I thought she had had her period – but the blood came from my dick.

Oh Christ! Why did you bleed?
At first I didn't think much of it. I was so horny that I just wiped the blood off and we had sex again right after that. The second time everything was ok, but during the third time I got really dizzy. She didn't care about the state I was in – she fell asleep while I lay there almost bleeding to death. When I finally got home and sobered up, I realised that I had ripped my banjo string.

Was your second time as painful?
No, quite the opposite. About six months later, I had a proper first time. I had just fallen in love and was totally crazy about my girlfriend. When we had sex for the first time I was so excited, that the sex didn't take longer than three minutes. I think it's fine if your first time is like that – short and with someone you love.

Violett Porn, 25

VICE: Do you remember your first time?
Violett Porn: I think that the first time you have sex it's either shit, embarrassing or great. I would say that my first time was shit. I was only 12.

How did it happen?
It was a difficult time. I had been together with my boyfriend for eight months, but he wasn't a good guy. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. He wasn't a virgin, and we didn't plan the first time. During that first time, he kept throwing me onto the bed and my spine really started to hurt. It wasn't fun at all.

Did your relationship continue?
It got worse. Shortly after, he stopped calling me and ditched me for another girl. When I think back to that time, I still really want to punch that arsehole.

Is sex different, when you're a porn star?
I've been working in the porn industry for three years now, but my sex life hasn't gotten better just because of it. It took many years for me to figure out what I like and what I'm into in bed. Everyone defines "good sex" differently, anyway. Maybe in 10 years, I'll look back and wonder how it's possible that I was satisfied with my sex life today.

Jason Steel, 34

VICE: When did you lose your virginity?
Jason Steel: It was New Years Eve going from 1996 to '97. I was 14, and some friends of mine were having a house party. I was hitting it off with a girl called Christine all night but sadly she left pretty early, so I started to kiss another girl, called Jenny. But then Christine showed up again and she was pretty shocked.

That sounds like a lot of drama.
I don't know where the confidence came from but I suggested the three of us would kiss together – which we did for a bit. But Christine didn't like it and left. When I took Jenny home, my mother opened the door and she was horrified – she didn't want to let me into the flat with this girl. We left and found a random floor in the 18-storey building, I lived in. She gave me a blowjob, then put a condom on me and rode me. I came in about 10 minutes and then I started to panic because the condom ripped. Everything turned out okay, though. I didn't get her pregnant during my first time.

Do you think the accessibility of porn has changed the way young people have sex?
I do. When I was young, blowjobs were frowned upon. It was a taboo to come in someone's face. That has completely changed. I've been working in the sex business for 16 years and porn has become a lot more extreme during that time. It gives a completely distorted view of sexual reality. Male actors have relentless erections – let's be honest, nobody can hold a hard-on for longer than 45 minutes.

Back in the day, you would see a flaccid dick now and then. These days, all you see is massive boners popping out of guys' pants. And the way they switch from vaginal sex to anal in porn... it really doesn't work like that. A woman has to be relaxed, has to stretch herself – otherwise the guy could hurt her. When you watch it, you need to understand that it's not something you should try to live up to.

Freddy Gong, 26

VICE: How did you lose your virginity?
Freddy Gong: I grew up in England and went to boarding school there. One night a girl from my school took me by the hand and lead me to the girls' dormitory. I had sex for the first time there, with her.

How old were you?
I was 16, I don't know how old she was. I do remember that she moaned really loudly. So loudly that we got caught.

So did you get into trouble?
No, luckily they only gave us a warning. I thought it was all very exciting. At boarding school, I had sex in the dining area and in the library – always with different girls. I only ever got caught my first time.

Sammy Fox, didn't want to tell us her age

VICE: Tell us about your first time.
Samy Fox: I was 16 and fancied this guy from my neighbourhood. One evening his parents weren't home and we had sex in his room. He was on top, and it was all pretty unspectacular. I much prefer telling people the story about my second time.

Please do.
Our parents couldn't find out that we were having sex, so we had to do it in secret. To be sure they wouldn't find out, for our second time we agreed to meet in my parents' cellar. There was a wooden folding chair in the cellar, and when I came down he was sat on it completely naked. When I tried to sit on his lap, the chair collapsed and we were both lying naked on the cold cellar floor. We laughed so long and hard we couldn't carry on anymore.

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