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jizz

The World's Greatest Job

I thought jizz moppers didn't exist anymore. Isn't it illegal to beat off in public places now?

by Natalie Breyer
01 December 2004, 12:00am
1

VICE: I thought jizz moppers didn't exist anymore. Isn't it illegal to beat off in public places now?
Mike Hilliard: If the police raid your video store and they find a bunch of guys all beating each other off, it can get your store closed down in a minute. But quiet jerkers in one-person booths are a different story. In places like New York it's harder to get away with it, but in Kansas City it's easier. The place I work at is on the edge of a trailer park, and we have a regular clientele with a minimum of the passing-through trade you'd get in a city.

How much do you make?
Minimum wage, I'm afraid. You'd think it would be $80 an hour, but it's all about supply and demand. If I quit right now I don't know what I'd do and I'd probably be replaced in a minute.

Can you tell what a guy's load will be like just by looking at him? You know, yellowish or more whitish, ropy or watery…
Thankfully, a lot of guys tend to wipe up their own cum with the towels provided. Usually the worst part of the job is emptying the trashcan full of jizzed-up fucking tissues in every single booth. They all get crusted together and form these 3-D sculptures out of jizz rag. I always wear rubber gloves and carry bleach so I don't have to worry about AIDS or anything like that. We also have a lot of Magic Trees and pine disinfectant to cover up the smell of cum.

That works?
Sort of. You can still always kind of detect the cum smell. I leave the cleaning operations until the end of the day and hope that most of the people who use the booths will clean up after themselves.

What's the worst thing you've seen on the job?
Once these two gay dudes were in a booth together, and I guess one of them had gotten his tooth so far up the other guy's urethra that his dick started to bleed on the dude's face. Cocks bleed a lot if they get a chance. Both of them started freaking out because of the blood and everything, all "Oh, my God, call an ambulance!" One of them was falling out of the booth with his pants around his ankles and the other one was wiping the blood off his face with his nasty rain jacket. That was fucked up. That was only my second week of working there.

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