Time to claw your way up the social scale.
A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that's made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.
LFW IS GO
Thank God, London Fashion Week AW2013 is officially upon us. Prepare yourself for an onlaught of C+ listers being splashed down the sidebar of the Daily Mail wearing pastel leather and "fashion" boots. If you're a dedicated follower of fashion you might be interested in some of the actual clothes, but that's highly unlikely given the high point of London Fashion Week is consistently guessing which ridiculous washed-up celebrity will be wearing sunglasses on the front row at 11AM, or who you might bump into at the one party you managed to get into because you stole your boyfriend's ex girlfriends name off the list.
Good luck having the time of your life, because during fashion week nothing comes for free. Even if the champagne is flowing, chances are you'll be having your ear bitten off by an oligarch's daughter's about her swimwear line. For worthwhile London fashion content, we recommend Nasir Mazhar, Meadham Kirchhoff, Phoebe English and Ashish. Good luck to all. May your nostrils live long and prosper.
THE MUSHPIT ISSUE 5
Happy not-Valentine's Day, everyone! How did it go? Rubbish? Yeah I thought as much. Console yourself with issue 5 of The Mushpit, which was released yesterday, just in time for all the snogging and sobbing. This issue is bigger, thicker, glossier and it boasts a super sexy centrefold of VICE's very own editorial hunk Jamie Clifton. It also boasts near-religious inspirational hair tips from an advertorial collaboration with cult brand Fudge.
If you don't know what The Mushpit is, that's an independently published, London-born, magazine, which tackles all the serious questions a girl asks herself as she enters adulthood. What do I do with my life now? How do I make my bathroom into a home spa? Which belly-ring matches this outfit? Pick up a copy at WAH and BLEACH salons in Dalston, or Topshop flagship. Or buy online.
TAYLOR SWIFT WILL BE ON THE COVER OF POP MAGAZINE
The Spring/Summer Issue is out on March 20th and its cover will star a Louis Vuitton, chessboard dress and Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift... I have no idea how I feel about Taylor Swift. You probably don't give a shit about how I feel about Taylor Swift.
I do like her a teensy bit more now that she's covering Pop though, so that's that.
J.D. SARRIERI MADE THE BEST UNDERWEAR SET EVER
Did someone say Britney naked and covered in diamonds in the Toxic video,? No? Well either way, I.D. Sarrieri's new collection features this drop dead number which not only boasts my favourite fashion bitch silhouette of conical bra and high-waisted knickers, but it also comes in flesh, studded all over with crystals. It's Britney, bitch. No, but seriously, imagine how far your boyfriend's/Facebook friends' jaw would drop if you appeared through a haze of smoke wearing just this and a big fluffy boa. Love.
AND MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY IS LAUNCHING A CLOTHING LINE
Which is weird because, I can't imagine what he'd look like clothed. In any case, the JKL line will be an extension of some charity called Just Keep Living, that makes high school students grow into normal humans by "leading active lives and making healthy choices". No idea what they do that your parents aren't supposed to, but I guess it's a good thing so – yay, Matthew.
Catch up on last week's Tidbits.