Yeah, that means nothing to us either.
A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that's made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.
I love it when cool people make stuff that isn't a shit t-shirt for £40 or some lame podcast (I still don't understand those). One of our favourite photographers, Emma Arvida Bystrom, has developed a limited collection of beanies along with Girls Get Busy's own Beth Siveyer. Beanie Babes is a disgustingly brilliant name and I'm furious I never came up with it myself, so I'm glad they didn't drop the ball when it came to actually designing the product.
The hats come in three colours: baby pink to make you look pretty, black to make you look bad-ass and fluorescent yellow to make you look insane (and pretty and bad-ass). I would suggest buying all three, because I've been stuck trying to decide which one I want for ages, plus that way you get to decide every morning whether you're in the mood to be a bitch, a witch or a babe. Actually Emma just walked into the office looking amazing in a 'Babe' one and it's immediately became my favourite. They should make me a personalised one emblazoned with the word "Fickle".
CHANEL LOVES SCOTLAND
This week Karl Lagerfeld pulled off possibly the coolest fashion show of the last decade (cooler than the time he imported actual icebergs, but you know about that already). For Chanel's Metiers D'Art Pre-Fall 2013 collection, Lagerfeld took the 400 luckiest people on earth to Linlithgow Palace, which he spent a reported £2 million transforming into an unbelievable show space, before plying his guests with hot ginger and whiskey, Chanel blankets, smoked salmon and – oh yeah – a Chanel fashion show.
If that doesn't sound enough like something stolen straight out of a dream sequence in The Princess Diaries, the chauffeurs were also required, by contract, to wear Chanel No.5 aftershave. I'm so happy I just got to write that sentence. Clothes-wise there was a lot of thick wool, high collars and tartan, naturally. Chanel recently purchased their long-time supplier, Scottish cashmere house Barrie, so rather than ever erring on that kitschy, clichéd, fashion side of things, Karl's Scotch obsession has its feet firmly planted in ethical, sustainable British fabric. God, I freakin' love that guy – can you tell?
TOPSHOP'S CHRISTMAS CAMPAIGN IS HORRID
Topshop are currently running a campaign called #whosthatgirl, where they've taken candid pictures of an anonymous "Hollywood starlet" doing all the stuff nobody ever does around Christmas, then asked people on Twitter to guess who she is. I'm certain this isn't intentional, but the whole thing has ended up coming off like a pretty savvy comment on beauty and upkeep in the movie industry, because there was literally no way of telling who it was, despite being able to see, like, the entire top half of her face.
There problem here is that the video made everything in the world seem totally generic, then epitomised the phrase anti-climax when they revealed the "star" was Kate Bosworth. Then they released this video, which quickly transported the campaign out of the realm of forgivable Christmas PR and into the depths of inexcusable tragedy.
MEADHAM KIRCHHOFF X AMAZON
Oh, oops, did I forget to mention that this week is officially #OFW? Yeah – Online Fashion Week – that pinnacle moment in the fashion calendar. I'm not 100 percent sure when this particular fashion week started to exist between all the cruise, pre-fall, extra-cash, what recession? fashion weeks, but it's here now and it offers something even better than sitting two rows behind Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud at a LFW show: online shopping discounts and deals.
Sure, it's not exactly Xtreme Couponing (watch that show if it's the last thing you do on this earth), but being able to get your hands on anything Meadham Kirchhoff for £75 is pretty unheard of. Pairing up with Amazon, the design duo have released a line of four limited edition sweatshirts to sell this week at a price that's – let's be honest – still not great for something that looks like it came from downstairs at Forever 21. But for brand-whores worldwide, it's a chance to wear things with peoples names on that other people will recognise. And that, friends, is FASHION.
FUDGE GLITTER BLAST
There is nothing – nothing – that's going to be better to you this Christmas party season than Fudge's Glitter Blast hairspray. You know that point in the evening after a couple of mulled wines when you start feeling a bit sexy and you haven't finished your make-up or chosen your outfit yet? I refer to that point as The Danger Zone, because that's when you're either going to experiment with a shimmer eye shadow (terrible idea), an orange lipstick and gloss combination (awful) or, god forbid, an up-do. Placate all your baby prostitute urges and spray your hair with this glitter spray. It makes you feel made-up very quickly, smells delicious and won't scare people on the bus.
Tessa Edwards makes beautiful sci-fi jewellery that makes it look like you're wearing the keys to the universe around your neck and all over your fingers, which is pretty empowering. My favourite pieces include a gold-plated quartz USB stick to keep all your secrets on and earrings that look like they've fallen out of an intergalactic toolbox. Tessa launched her new website and online store yesterday, so now you can buy everything on there without even having to leave your bed. Lucky you.
Catch up on last week's tidbits here.