Photos via RightMove
What is living in London like? Hell. Here’s proof, beyond all doubt, that renting in London is a nightmare.
Where is it? In South Kensington. A semi-interesting anthropological observation: ten years ago, when describing South Kensington and other posh-adjacent well-monied west London enclaves, you would always adopt an Ab Fab voice and say, "South Kensington, darling." But with the Made in Chelseafication of the west, and the subsequent invention of the Instagram Aspirational Heir, the linguistics we associate with the click-their-fingers-at-waiters elite has changed. We now take on a "nodding at the ski instructor" voice and say, "South Kenny, bro." And it is all Spencer Matthews' fault. In this essay I will—
What is there to do locally? I don't know. The only times I ever head west are to go pick through their charity shops and then eat a full meal at the big Whole Foods they have there. I am a cretin, a troll, a goblin to those people. They have shiny hair and gilet collections and "a driver". I'm not entirely certain that it's actually legal for me to enter that area of London. I figure it's a bit like when you walk out of a shop with a security tag on an item, and a siren goes off and a guard ambles over and asks you what you're doing, only the security tag is "my bank balance", beamed to sensors from the app on my phone, and every time I walk down a stress in west London everyone near me gets a text message telling them I'm poor. Is that paranoid? Reading it back it seems paranoid.
Alright, how much are they asking? About £1,200 a month.
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