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London's Air Pollution Is Making Its People Look Old as Fuck

The dirty air gets in your skin and makes you look like an uggo – according to a skincare company that promises it can make you not look like an uggo.

London looking a bit ill. (via)

Man, who would have thought millions of exhaust pipes piping out noxious gas non-stop, 24/7, for the last 70-odd years would have a negative effect on the cosmetic appearance of the people surrounded by it? Believe it or not, that's exactly what's happening to the citizens of fair-old London town.

In research that will presumably inspire all people to wear spooky white face masks like they've just narrowly escaped a fire at a spa, skincare company Caci found that the average commuter's skin ages by two years as a result of exposure to pollution. What happens is the particles from all the dirty cars and vans crawl into your epidermis and smash away all the collagen in your skin, which is what makes you young and pretty. By the semi-ripe age of 40, Londoners will have aged two years facially, making them look 42, a fate worse than death. The research is based off previous studies done in Beijing, which as we all know is about 70 percent pollution and 30 percent everything else (study by the Institute of Banter Statistics).

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"The oxidising effect of the pollution leaves skin looking wrinkled, dull and prone to age spots. To protect your skin you need to use antioxidant-boosting serums and cleanse skin daily." says Dean Nathanson, managing director of Caci, a company that offers non-surgical "solutions" to your ugly old fucking face, and obviously benefits hugely from people worrying that their faces are getting gross.

But your disgusting mug isn't the only thing affected by the extreme pollution. Over 9,500 Londoners perish every year as a result of diseases and conditions brought on by the microscopic evils of pollution. We're exhaust-guffing ourselves to death here, people. Last month, the City of London Corporation announced that they would stop re-buying diesel buses after they went out of commission in an attempt to take a bit of responsibility for contributing so heavily towards our deaths.

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