Who Would Play You in a Film About Your Life?

Welcome to our column, Question of the Day. It gives interns something to do!

I don't know who would play me in a movie about my life. Elijah Wood? Whoopi Goldberg? Miley Cyrus? Laurence Fishburne? You don't know, do you, because you can't see me. But you can see these people. Let's laugh at how misguided they all are!

VICE: Who would play you in a film about your life?
Michael, 24, artist: Julia Stiles.
Polly, 24, manager: He looks like her, doesn’t he?

He actually does.
Michael: Maybe Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger, mixed into one. That would be my dream.

I'm not sure that one's gonna work out. How about you, pretty Polly?
Michael: Hagrid.
Polly: He’s not even an actor, he’s a character. I’ll have Daniel Radcliffe, then.

Why?
Polly: He’s a great actor. He’s known for his fantastic acting skills. He’s very handsome.

Gordon, 35, cameraman: Who I would play?

No, who would play you?
Sean Penn. I love him.

Do you think you look like him?
No. I have been told I look like Keanu Reeves.

You know what? You actually really do.

Eddy, 32, musician: Johnny Depp. So my girlfriend’s happy.

Is she? Is there a resemblance?
OK. Maybe Edward Norton?

Not really sure about that one either, mate. A guy earlier said Sean Penn—maybe him, in Milk?
Nah.

What would happen at the end of the movie of your life?
I’d like to make a lot of money

Elizabeth, 24, shoe designer: I’d like to say Jessica Rabbit.

But she’s not real.
I know.

Kiran, 26, music PR (left): Brad Pitt.

Really?
Kiran: Why the fuck not?

I guess. What about you?
Lynn, 23, music PR: Will Smith.
Kiran: I’ve changed my mind. Benicio del Toro. He’s amazing.

If you had to choose someone who actually resembles you, who would you choose?
Kiran: Fuck. Britney Spears? I’ll shave my head.
Lynn: Sienna Miller.

Previously: What Advice Would You Give to Your 16-Year-Old Self?