How to Piss

A short lesson for men who struggle with the concept.

Recently, a lefty Swedish political party called Vänsterpartiet tried to make it a legal requirement for guys to sit down when they're taking a piss. Unsurprisingly, the proposition wasn't well received by the public, with the Swedish media suggesting that the plan was one of many attempts to make Sweden "the most gender equal country in the world". 

However, the party argued that standing up peeing is really bad for your dick. They also claimed that, if everyone with a penis sits down, cleaning restrooms can become a little more of a pleasant career choice. Lasse Nilsson of Vänsterpartiet said that the rule would only concern specific public toilets, in an attempt to highlight some of the dangers you might face when standing up doing your business. 

As the proposal set off a (mostly pointless) debate in regards to sit versus stand, no one seemed to address the exact dangers you might face when holding your cock a couple of feet above the toilet bowl. So, I met with urologist Lars Henningsohn to find out the truth about guys' peeing habits. 

VICE: Hello, Lars. You're an expert on penises, right?
Yup. The urinary tracts, in particular. Urology is about illnesses in the urinary tracts for both women and men. Gynaecologists are specialised in the female sex, urologists are specialised in the male sex. 

Let's get straight to the point. Is it bad for the penis if you stand up when you pee?
Yes and no. Guys normally know what method is most suitable for them. What works best for your own bladder is a pretty individual matter. Half of all men empty their bladder best sitting down, and half of all men empty their bladder better standing up – all guys discover what way works best for them. But if you want to get really deep into this, most studies made on the topic show that it's a tiny bit better to stand up than to sit down, because that's what works best for the majority of guys. 

So, guys discover this unconsciously?
Yeah, I think so. 

Would it be the ultimate draining of the bladder if guys were to switch between standing and sitting?
I don't think there are any reports that support that theory, but there is a way to empty your bladder better. It's called double micturation, and it means that you pee twice. First, you pee in one way, then you pee in another way, so I guess you could do the first one standing up and the second one sitting down. It's often good to change position when you double micturate. 

But, if you pee once, you're done, right?
Yes, but if you have certain prostate issues, it's possible to squeeze out a little more to empty the bladder as much as possible.

So, there are some serious risks that you might encounter if you don't pee in the right way?
If you leave bits of pee in the bladder, yes. 

What do you think about the proposition to regulate what peeing methods a guy should use in public toilets?
I really don't think that there's a medical perspective to it. Perhaps it's a good rule to have if splashing out pee on the floor is a problem, I guess public toilets can become pretty dirty, but it's not up to me to judge if sitting down is a solution to those kinds of problems. You definitely shouldn't tell men to sit down if they empty their bladder better standing up, though. 

Agreed. Thanks Lars!

Follow Caisa on Twitter: @caisasoze

More piss:

We Found a Piss Dungeon in a Pub